Here’s my cheeky entry to the Bloggers Bash Blog Post Competition 2018, sorry your majesty!
The Queen’s forehead creased in worry, she’d had enough, so many engagements, accompanied by endless rounds of champagne, canapes and caviar.
She turned to her trusted adviser, ‘Dear fellow,’ she enquired, ‘Could you help me? I’d like to be a commoner for the day, to ride a double-decker bus full of beer swilling pensioners, purchase a sale bra and cheap stone-washed jeans. Oh, and I’d like to get to the lowly department store via a rusty old bike.’
Her adviser’s jaw dropped as if she had asked him whether he picked his very large nose.
He wandered off, or hid she wasn’t sure. She contemplated chopping his head off but decided against it. Instead, she turned to Google to find an answer. A wonderful site proposed A Royal Dress Down Day with a difference plus a Royal surprise. She squealed with delight. Her corgis hid under the bed in shock. She sighed; even her dogs were turning against her!
She squinted at the small print. The Dress Down Day promised a Fairy Godmother, a basic bra fit, a guarantee of poor service plus a cup of strong builder’s tea to wash down her disappointment. She signed a special disclaimer to say she wouldn’t complain.
The day loomed, Elizabeth was so excited! But, being a commoner wasn’t as great as she thought it would be. The Fairy Godmother turned out to be a little girl in a tutu who kept on whining. Instead of riding on a bike she had to get to the department store via an over populated ocean on a jet ski, and the pair of jeans clung to her body like a clinging wetsuit.
All very inappropriate for a woman of her age. She picked up her diamond tiara. Back to business as usual.
If you want to enter the competition you better get your skates on, tomorrow is the last day!