Annual Bloggers Bash – M J Mallon YA Author and Poet

Here’s my cheeky entry to the Bloggers Bash Blog Post Competition 2018, sorry your majesty!

The Queen’s forehead creased in worry, she’d had enough, so many engagements, accompanied by endless rounds of champagne, canapes and caviar.

She turned to her trusted adviser, ‘Dear fellow,’ she enquired, ‘Could you help me? I’d like to be a commoner for the day, to ride a double-decker bus full of beer swilling pensioners, purchase a sale bra and cheap stone-washed jeans. Oh, and I’d like to get to the lowly department store via a rusty old bike.’

Her adviser’s jaw dropped as if she had asked him whether he picked his very large nose.

He wandered off, or hid she wasn’t sure. She contemplated chopping his head off but decided against it. Instead, she turned to Google to find an answer. A wonderful site proposed A Royal Dress Down Day with a difference plus a Royal surprise. She squealed with delight. Her corgis hid under the bed in shock. She sighed; even her dogs were turning against her!

She squinted at the small print. The Dress Down Day promised a Fairy Godmother, a basic bra fit, a guarantee of poor service plus a cup of strong builder’s tea to wash down her disappointment. She signed a special disclaimer to say she wouldn’t complain.

The day loomed, Elizabeth was so excited! But, being a commoner wasn’t as great as she thought it would be. The Fairy Godmother turned out to be a little girl in a tutu who kept on whining. Instead of riding on a bike she had to get to the department store via an over populated ocean on a jet ski, and the pair of jeans clung to her body like a clinging wetsuit.

All very inappropriate for a woman of her age. She picked up her diamond tiara. Back to business as usual.

If you want to enter the competition you better get your skates on, tomorrow is the last day!

http://sachablack.co.uk/2018/03/04/the-bloggers-bash-blog-post-competition-extended-sundayblogshare-bloggersbash/

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The Bloggers Bash was wonderful, such a great idea. Well done to the committee members Sacha, http://sachablack.co.uk/ Hugh, http://hughsviewsandnews.com/ Geoff http://geofflepard.com/and Ali http://aliisaacstoryteller.com/ for organising the event and making it such a memorable day.

Just hope that this will be a regular event. Hint Hint….

Well before I left I asked my husband to take a photo of me in my new outfit. Piece of advice never ask your hubby to do this. Look at the result, out of focus and right by the bin! What was he thinking of? Why is the bin in my hallway? A temporary location as we’re still renovating our kitchen. Yes, our fridge freezer is still in the hallway too! Luckily he didn’t take one of me beside that too!

Yes, his photographic skills are enough to make me pull a stroppy face:

A few daft things happened to me on the way to the Bloggers Bash. The first involves a bit of toilet humour so apologies for that in advance. I have to inflict it on you because my hubby and eldest daughter refused to listen to me on the way home in the car. They’d just been to see Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. They know what I’m like when I chat about toilet humour! Oops I can be a bit graphic…. Don’t worry I promise not to! Anyway to cut a long story short I should have gone before I left the house and I didn’t, and by the time I arrived at King’s Cross I was well…..desperate!!!!! To add to my sense of panic I found out I didn’t have a ten pence coin for the loo. Help!!! I had to ask a random stranger to part with his ten pence, kindly he took pity on me. He saw that look on my face, the one that says I NEED TO GO. Anyway mission accomplished, the relief was enormous! Next thing on the agenda a simple requirement, what could be easier, get some money out of the cash point. Yes of course I’d forgotten that too! Where is the blooming cash point in King’s cross? Why am I such a Cambridge country bumpkin that I can’t find a cash point in King’s cross? Oh, thank god there it is. Second mission accomplished.

Now I made my way to the British Library, at this point you’d be bound to think, nothing else could possibly happen. Wrong. A very strange man was on a mission to stop random strangers in the street asking, no demanding for them to stop and talk to him. Poor guy I don’t know what was troubling him but I wasn’t sticking around to find out. This kind of thing happens to me a lot. Why? I seem to attract people who want to scare the hell out of me. Eek, he seemed to be following me, so I dashed ahead, swiftly swerving in front of people waiting at the traffic lights.

Phew arrived at the British Library, final Mission accomplished, found the Newton statue.

As you can see at this point in the proceedings the sun wasn’t quite shining above Newton’s statue.

Then I spotted a fellow blogger Helen Jones from Journey to Ambeth. http://journeytoambeth.com/

Yes, I was pretty sure it was her, she looked just like her blog photo. Safe bet, to say hello? Luckily I was right it turned out to be Helen, and she was all smiley and nice. Soon all the bloggers started arriving, lots of chit-chat followed. We started taking some photos, I kind of stole Helen’s idea, she took a photo of this splendid view and I did too. The sun that had been hiding now came out to play, blue skies hurrah!!!

Then after some cake, we set off to Pizza Express for more chit-chat and of course the blogging awards.

I sat right next to Hugh, who is as delightful in real life as he is in his blog, he’s a real lovely bloke, makes you feel very welcome. So if you’re not following Hugh go and follow him! http://hughsviewsandnews.com/

Opposite me I got chatting to a blogger called Conny of Study Read Write, whose blog is “all about Studying, blogging, reading and writing with a large cup of coffee nearby.” Sounds good! https://studyreadwrite.wordpress.com/ who had come all the way from Germany. It was Connie’s birthday! Happy Birthday Conny.

To the left of me were Mel https://mbarkersimpson.wordpress.com/and Lucy, https://blondewritemore.wordpress.com/a couple of Rachael Ritchey Writing Blog Battlers. http://rachaelritchey.com/

Lucy from Blonde Write More (the winner of the humour award) said she thought I was an American! It’s funny how you can give off a certain type of vibe from your blog. I wonder how many of my followers think that I’m American rather than British? I’m a bit of a mixture so maybe this isn’t altogether surprising. I’m part Scottish, part English and I have a Malaysian mother to just to add to the confusion.

We chatted about Conny’s forthcoming theatre trips, and lots of blogging tips and ideas were shared. The awards came next. When Sacha stood up to make her speech, she made a confession, she said she was an introvert stuck in an extrovert’s body. This kind of struck a chord in me, I’m most definitely an introvert with aspirations to be an extrovert! A tricky conversion….. One I only tend to do with full gusto when I’m drunk! Or with my friends who have know me for a long time and know the real me. Well for an introvert Sacha did so well! The speeches were a bit difficult for me to follow as I’m a bit deaf! Long story, ear problems…. Won’t bore you with the details. Couldn’t hear too well, it was all a bit muffled, apart from Sacha’s speech, and Hugh’s (he was sitting right next to me so I could hear him fine!)

I managed to make out the winners’ names. Well done to all of them, some of the winners I’d voted for, so that was nice…

Here’s the link to all the awesome winners: http://sachablack.co.uk/2015/08/01/the-winners-of-the-annual-bloggersbash-awards-are/

My confession – I made a few gaffs probably talked a lot of nonsense, a case of a touch of social anxiety I think…. My biggest faux pas was when I asked Hugh if there was a humour category! God, I can be such an idiot sometimes, why did I say that? I voted for him! I’m not too good in large gatherings of people, it makes my brain turn to mush and I inevitably talk drivel. Lots of drivel….

Still it’s good to challenge yourself, (even if you talk drivel) to push the boundaries of your comfort zone.

It was great to talk to Esther Newton: https://esthernewtonblog.wordpress.com/

Dylan Hearn: https://authordylanhearn.wordpress.com/

Sue Vincent: http://scvincent.com/her writing journey.

Ali Isaac: http://aliisaacstoryteller.com/

Graeme Cumming: http://graemecumming.net/author/graemeandrewcumming/

I talked to Graeme about public speaking! The prospect of public speaking fills me with gut wrenching terror but it is most definitely on my to do list. I like to zap my terror zone levels from time to time…. maybe I’m an introvert stuck in a masochist’s body? Ouch…..

My only regret as I left the Bloggers Bash is I didn’t get to talk to everyone (and share my drivel) as much as I would have liked to, that’s the downside of a large group of people rather than a smaller gathering ….. maybe next time if I’m still invited, and not excluded for being a touch loopy, I’ll catch up with those I missed this time……..

See you at the next Bloggers Bash!!! In the meantime, come chat about it here in my comments, I’d love to hear from you.