The Spam Monster

This is for all of you have come under the threat of the spam monster. It has been quite a problem recently for several bloggers, our well intentioned comments not appearing on blogs…. So I wrote this little poem with that and Halloween in mind.

The Spam Monster

It’s all hallows eve,

You’ve no time for a pet peeve,

The wretched spam monster making curds,

Of your well thought out words.

 

He insidiously turns your comments into mush,

Sweeps them all away with a hot-wired brush,

He’s all wires and circuitry,

His gadgetry puts you into purgatory.

 

But, don’t fret, don’t worry, help is at hand,

The Happiness Engineers Askimet band,

Party together, they’ll help you out.

No need to storm, stamp, and shout!

 

Stick your perky pumpkin by your computer,

Light it with a ferocious candle to neuter,

That bloody spam monster with his big hooter,

Mr snooty, snotty, snooper.

© Marjorie Mallon 2016 – aka, Kyrosmagica. All Rights Reserved.

If you need any help with this problem Hugh has written a great post how to contact the Askimet engineers – here’s the link: Hughs Views And News: What To Do If your Comments Are Ending Up in Spam Folders

Bye for now,

Hope you liked the silly poem!

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Happy Birthday Bloggers Bash

Hugh from Hugh’s Views and News has some news that he’s desperate to share with us, (even though he’s on a bloggers break.) The Bloggers Bash is one years old! If you’d like to join in with the next event keep your eyes out for posts like these…. This bash is growing, gaining momentum, be a part of it! Watch this baby grow. Happy Birthday Bloggers Bash!

Annual Bloggers Bash Awards – My Take -And If You’re Brave Enough…Some Singing At The End!!!

A bit of a sing song Bloggy style for the forthcoming Blogger’s Bash from our very own Ritu at But I Smile Anyway. We’re all getting very EXCITED!!!!! Can’t wait for Saturday. But, I’ve warned her that if I sing at the Blogger’s Bash I might just clear the room FAST, my singing voice ain’t too good! Unless you’re all tone deaf and it’ll be ok….. So to preserve your ears I’ll whisper or hum along to the tune, unless I get tipsy and there’s no knowing what I might do… Excellent lyrics my dear.. xx

But I Smile Anyway...

It is less than a week to go, and I am so excited, I just can’t explain myself… heck, I can’t contain myself! I am driving my family nuts as they can’t understand why I am so excited to meet a bunch of strangers, as they see it, but I don’t think that, I think more that we are a blogily and each and every one of you that I interact with are special people!

I will be meeting people, not just bloggers. People who have become part of my daily life, and some who have become so close to me that  I couldn’t even imagine them not being there now. There are many who can’t be there for various reasons, but hey, lets be positive… there is always next year!

Bloggers Bash 2016 Logo

Many thanks to Sacha Black and her team for organising such an amazing event! The Official page for the…

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More Websites and Links for Book worms, Bloggers and Writers

 

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Soon, on Tuesday 5th of May, there is to be a Writers’ resources evening at Cambridge Writers,  the group that I am a member of, so with this in mind, I thought I would do a little warm up, and type up some helpful website links for Writers, Bloggers and Book Worms.

http://www.cambridgewriters.net/

I have been gathering the details of this list for some time so hope that it will be a useful resource.

So to kick it off my first discovery was Wasafari, who are they you might ask?
“Wasafiri is Britain’s premier magazine for international contemporary writing. Published quarterly, it has established a distinctive reputation for promoting work by new and established voices across the globe.”

 

Book review/Bookish sites:

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Netgalley https://www.netgalley.com/

Bookbridgr http://www.bookbridgr.com/

and Lovereading.co.uk http://www.lovereading.co.uk/

Read books for free: https://storycartel.com/search

 

Author’s resources:

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Tips for authors on how to make book trailers: https://effrosinimoss.wordpress.com/2013/12/02/tips-for-authors-book-trailer-made-easy/

Tips on writing book blurbs, they may be short but it doesn’t mean they’re easy to write!  http://www.terrytyler59.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/book-blurbs-as-hard-as-writing-book.tml

How to protect yourself – editing clauses in publishing contracts. http://accrispin.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/editing-clauses-in-publishing-contracts.html

Features written by or about female writers.https://thewritesofwoman.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/in-the-media-25th-january-1st-february-2015/

Excellent website for all writerly things including author/agent interviews, writing, and self-editing advice: talltalesandshortstories.blogspot.co.uk/2010/12/agent-interview-jenny-savill-at-andrew.html

“A new home for your short fiction.” http://inkins.com/

http://irenewaters19.com/2015/03/24/99-word-flash-fiction/

http://alanamunroauthor.com/about  runs support a writer on google.

 

Writers links via no wasted ink. http://nowastedink.com/2015/03/02/no-wasted-ink-writers-links-161/

https://tycobbsteeth.wordpress.com/2015/03/27/book-marketing-tools-1/

“World Literary Cafe is  a multi-faceted community that promotes everyone in the literary realm, from readers to authors, editors, reviewers, and author services.” http://worldliterarycafe.com/content/support-wlc-authors

A book about writing, funding, crowd-sourcing, editing, sales, file conversion, guerrilla marketing, social media, blogging, and reviewers via Jan Moran writes. http://www.janmoranwrites.com/2012/12/30/book-review-ape-by-guy-kawasaki-and-shawn-welch-for-authors-publishers-and-entrepreneurs/

https://awomanswisdom.wordpress.com/2015/03/16/just-finished-writing-your-first-book-dont-publish-it-yet/

 

Copyright infringement

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Copyright infringement. http://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/2015/03/03/congratulations-authors-one-battle-won-against-copyright-infringement-update/

 

Writer’s advisory services

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There are a lot out there but which to recommend? I’ve heard good things about these two:

Hilary Johnson Authors Advisory service  http://www.hilaryjohnson.com/index.html

Cornerstones who have their very own publishing house http://threeharespublishing.com/#latest-work, and have written a self help guide, Write a blockbuster and get it published, authored jointly by Helen Corner and Lee Weatherly, “it offers not simply a guide to writing a novel, but an introduction to writing a plot-based, action-focused blockbuster.” http://cornerstones.co.uk/

 

Poetry Enthusiasts:

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I’ve just recently rediscovered my love of poetry and with this in mind I would highly recommend joining in with Ron’s Weekly Haiku prompt challenge. It’s fun, and gets the old creative juices flowing on a weekly basis and that can only be a good thing! Ron has an excellent blog overflowing with all sorts of interesting articles so he’s certainly one to follow.

Haiku prompt challenge: https://ronovanwrites.wordpress.com/category/haiku-prompt-challenge/

Wikihow to write a Haiku poem. http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Haiku-Poem

What is Haiku, and how to write it. http://toyomasu.com/haiku/

Here’s his helpful link about merging blogs: https://ronovanwrites.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/how-merge-blogs/

Artists and Illustrators:

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Chihuly Glass pixabay.com

 

Marketing resources for artists. http://artistmarketingresources.com/about/

Using Corel suite instead of Adobe for illustrators: http://oreosandspiltmilk.com/2015/02/17/food-illustration-ramen/

 

Finding Agents and Publishers

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Switch your torch light on, don your spy costume, now on to the nasty business of finding agents, and publishers. This is when life becomes complicated, the writing is easy in comparison, I know I’m in this process and it seems to be a never ending slog of decisions, (which is utterly painful for someone like me who tends to be indecisive,) waiting, trying again, waiting. So with that in mind here are some resources to help my fellow wannabe authors out there who may be struggling like me to find a publisher or an agent. Never fear, help is at hand. Good luck!

List of agents and editors.

https://loutreleaven.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/uk-literary-agents-for-childrens-books/

https://loutreleaven.wordpress.com/2010/07/21/childrens-publishers-accepting-unsolicited-manuscripts/

https://mswlparagraph.wordpress.com/agents-editors/

The Writer’s and Artists’s Yearbook is a must have ISBN 9781408192450. They have an excellent site: https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/ 

Another way to approach agents is to meet them in person. There are many events which are organised with this in mind, conferences, workshops and talks are all good opportunities to meet agents and tell them about your story, so have a look for those – locally in the UK there is the Norwich Writers Centre http://www.writerscentrenorwich.org.uk/ and plenty will come up from a google search on the internet.

SCBWI do some, too.  Who are SCBWI?  They are The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators: https://www.scbwi.org/ The Writers and Artists also hold events: https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/events, the next hook an agent event is in London, in June: https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/events/how-to-hook-an-agent-children-s-fiction

http://www.sharonbayliss.com/2012/04/list-of-publishers-seeking-submissions.html

How to pitch to publishers: http://www.karentyrrell.com/pitch-publishers/

http://www.davidficklingbooks.com/Submissions.php – David Fickling Books are opening up submissions in a competition type style event from May 5th to May 19th.

 

Self Publishing:

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Guide to self publishing and promoting, click on the tab on the top left section of author E. Rawls blog, there are all sorts of writing tips too as well as haikus, book reviews, blog hops, author interviews. https://rawlse.wordpress.com/

 

Marketing:

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http://www.derekhaines.ch/justpublishing/does-twitter-sell-ebooks/

Increase your blog traffic: http://www.molly-greene.com/increase-blog-traffic-subscribers-8-tips/ 

 

THIS BLOG claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise noted. Images on this blog are copyright to its respectful owners. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and you do not wish for it to appear on this site, please contact or e-mail me with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed.

Useful Marketing links for Authors, Bloggers, and Book Reviewers

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Some useful marketing sites which I thought I’d share with you.

Book Covers. Useful information about book covers. http://mmjayewrites.com/2014/11/21/time-saving-tips-for-using-stockphoto-sites-plus-casting-for-fate-accompli/

Authorama. Public domain free books: http://authorama.com/

Delicious is a free and easy tool to save, organize,
and discover interesting links on the web: https://delicious.com

Popular topic ideas for e-books:

Wordtracker. Reveal high performing keywords: http://www.wordtracker.com/

Google keywords toolbox: http://www.googlekeywordtool.com/

Click bank Performance marketing suite: http://www.clickbank.com/

Affiliate programs:

Useful for book reviewers who wish to participate in an affiliate program.

Amazon affiliate program: https://affiliate-program.amazon.co.uk/

Apple affiliate program: https://www.apple.com/itunes/affiliates/

Barnes and Noble affiliate program: http://affiliates.barnesandnoble.com/

The site wizard. How to make money from your website: http://www.thesitewizard.com/archive/makemoney.shtml

Google adsense: http://www.google.com/adsense/start/

Links to writing for Readers Digest, newspapers etc: https://esthernewtonblog.wordpress.com/markets-for-freelancers/

Good design tips for blogs: http://digitalhegemon.wordpress.com/2014/11/28/good-design/

How to build a media kit for authors: http://www.molly-greene.com/how-to-build-a-media-kit/

Spangaloo specialize in free and low cost publications for our distribution. Available in many formats like EPUB MOBI PDF as well as paper back editions.http://spangaloo.com/

Puzzleflip Twitter help. all your twitter info in the one place : http://puzzleflip.com/

Scrazzle Micro blogging at a new level 300 characters instead of 140 on Twitter: http://scrazzle.com/

Found the following link today via @TuiSnider on twitter.

Create your online newspaper in minutes. Authomatically find, publish & promote articles, photos and videos from across the web. http://paper.li/

Self publishing on paper. li: http://paper.li/TuiSnider/1389223255#!tag-selfpublishing