humour – Page 13 – M J Mallon YA Author and Poet

An Unusual Valentine’s Adventure

It’s been a bit of a strange week, my eldest daughter fractured her ankle and I’ve been helping her out. So here I am in Brighton spending Valentine’s Day with my injured daughter! Motherly love knows no bounds…..

My journey to Brighton was pretty eventful, I decided to take the bus to Cambridge station, and by the time that I arrived at the bus stop I was regretting this decision. I was running a little late. I saw a very tempting taxi just sitting there but I’d walked all the way to the bus stop so I wasn’t about to hop into a taxi. I’m stubborn that way. Then a lady asked me for help, she was trying to print out her tickets for the bus, but she couldn’t work out how to use the ticket machine. And guess what, she was on crutches! I knew that if I didn’t get my skates on I’d miss the train. So I had to abandon the lady on crutches, fortunately she managed to get help from one of the staff in the bus depot. Luckily I managed to get to the train station in time but then of course the ticket machine refused to work. It took me several attempts to print out my train tickets. Could this have been retribution for abandoning the lady on crutches?

Then, just before I arrived at my daughter’s University campus the ticket inspector came on the train and asked a young man sitting opposite me for his ticket, he rummaged around in his bag making a big show of trying to look for his ticket, but couldn’t produce the goods. Then he got up and made for the exit. The ticket inspector came after him, asking for his ticket all the way, and then proceeded to follow him off the train. The guy was obviously travelling without a ticket and the poor ticket inspector must have had a rough time trying to get the money off of him. I’ve no idea what happened as the two of them disappeared out of sight but I just hope it didn’t turn nasty.

Anyway, I’ve been crashing out on my daughter’s student flat, sleeping on her floor, reliving my student days. Quite an experience, I’ve not been getting much sleep, (Friday and Saturday nights are the worse what with parties, kids getting locked out of their rooms, and all sorts of shenanigans.) I’ve been doing my daughter’s washing at the launderette, buying her groceries, and cooking student dinners in a state of sleep deprivation. This morning my back was aching and when I bent over to lift her laundry bag I pulled a muscle. I won’t be much help if I injure myself too! I’m going to treat myself to a night in a hotel before I go home as a bit of a reward! I reckon I deserve it. It will be so wonderful to sleep in a bed, instead of on top of a pile of cushions from the living room settee. Oh, I forgot to mention that the blasted fire alarm went off one evening. That was quite a challenge getting her down three flights of stairs, she’d just finished washing her hair, too. Believe me when I say that washing, and showering is some challenge in such a tiny floor space when you’ve broken an ankle. Of course, it’s no surprise that we were the last down on hearing the fire alarm, I’m so relieved that it wasn’t a real fire. Luckily she’s young and bones heal real quick when you’re her age.

Breaking limbs seems to be a bit of a family trait, I broke my foot years ago when my youngest daughter was fairly little so I know just how incapacitating it can be. I tripped in the playground while I was carrying her. I had two possible choices: drop my daughter and save my foot or ensure that my daughter was safe. Of course you know which one I chose. I did the motherly thing, saved her and broke a foot. One of the mums joked that I should have dropped her and she would have bounced but I’m not too sure about that, that concrete looked real frightening.

Luckily, breaking my foot wasn’t all doom and gloom, there were some compensations. I had a real nice trip in the ambulance to the hospital with a liberal supply of gas and air, and the handsomest paramedic to attend to me. I can still see him now……..

So tonight is Valentine’s night and my daughter and I are going to attempt the bus journey into Brighton city centre, for a mother and daughter dinner. On arrival at the restaurant we made quite an entrance, she managed to knock the shelf above her with her crutches as we arrived, I’m just glad she didn’t knock down that elaborately wrapped Valentine’s chocolate raffle prize, that would have been oh so embarrassing.

She’s feeling a bit tired, a double Macchiato will be required to get her up and running after dinner. She’ll be booted up and on crutches. I’ll be hobbling about with a twinge in my back, and shadows under my eyes. Then she’s off to a friend’s birthday party for an hour or two, again on her crutches. She’s made of determined stuff. After that I’m taking her back on the bus. No idea what I’m going to do on my own in Brighton for two hours on Valentine’s night! I reckon there’s bound to be a touch of Valentine’s craziness on the streets of Brighton, apparently when there is any festival or cause for celebration everyone is out and about, creating mayhem.

This is going to be the strangest Valentines I’ve ever had. Have you ever had an unusual Valentine day? I’d love to hear about it if you have.

Bye for now! Watch out, remember to look where you are going…

Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx

Happy Puzzling Sherlock Saturday: My latest read The House of Silk

Happy Puzzling Saturday

It’s Happy Puzzling Saturday. How can that be? Never heard of such a thing. Has Marje, aka, Kyrosmagica, gone bonkers? No, she’s just in a playful, poetic, puzzling, Saturday kind of mood.

I think my reading The House of Silk, has done it, Watson, I’ve gone all Sherlock Holmes like. My detective cap’s on, but don’t worry I haven’t started smoking a pipe, or ended up in an opium den.

Have you read The House of Silk? What did you make of it? Are you a Sherlock Holmes fan?

Can you guess where I’m at in the novel? Have a go, see if you can puzzle out the answer. Have I finished, or am I half way through, have I arrived at a particularly exciting juncture? Do feel free to leave comments below.

Let’s find the key to a fantastic time this weekend! My detective work tells me that you will not be puzzled by any perplexities or stumped by any unfathomable doubts that you can’t solve during your weekend break! As ever enjoy, stay out of the cold weather, keep warm, drink hot chocolate, and don’t think too hard. Confound it! Sherlock, I mean it!

I’m leaving you with these pearls of Sherlock wisdom:

Top Ten Sherlock Holmes Quotes:

#1: “Excellent! I cried. “Elementary,” said he.

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes (1893)
Watson and Holmes in “The Crooked Man” (Doubleday p. 412)

#2: “It seemed to me that a careful examination of the room and the lawn might possibly reveal some traces of this mysterious individual. You know my methods, Watson. There was not one of them which I did not apply to the inquiry. And it ended by my discovering traces, but very different ones from those which I had expected.”

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes (1893)
Sherlock Holmes in “The Crooked Man” (Doubleday p. 416)

#3. “You will not apply my precept,” he said, shaking his head. “How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? We know that he did not come through the door, the window, or the chimney. We also know that he could not have been concealed in the room, as there is no concealment possible. When, then, did he come?”

The Sign of the Four, ch. 6 (1890)
Sherlock Holmes in The Sign of the Four (Doubleday p. 111)

#4. “Good heavens!” I cried. “Who would associate crime with these dear old homesteads?”
“They always fill me with a certain horror. It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.“

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892)
Sherlock Holmes in “The Copper Beeches” (Doubleday p. 323)

#5. I had neither kith nor kin in England, and was therefore as free as air—or as free as an income of eleven shillings and sixpence a day will permit a man to be. Under such circumstances I naturally gravitated to London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained. There I stayed for some time at a private hotel in the Strand, leading a comfortless, meaningless existence, and spending such money as I had, considerably more freely than I ought.

A Study in Scarlet, ch. 1 (1887)
Dr. Watson in A Study in Scarlet (Doubleday p. 15)

#6. To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Irene Adler. All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind. He was, I take it, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen…. And yet there was but one woman to him, and that woman was the late Irene Adler, of dubious and questionable memory.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892)
Dr. Watson in “A Scandal in Bohemia” (Doubleday p. 161)

#7. At this moment there was a loud ring at the bell, and I could hear Mrs. Hudson, our landlady, raising her voice in a wail of expostulation and dismay.
“By heavens, Holmes,” I said, half rising, “I believe that they are really after us.”
“No, it’s not quite so bad as that. It is the unofficial force—the Baker Street irregulars.“

The Sign of the Four, ch. 8 (1890)
Sherlock Holmes in The Sign of the Four (Doubleday p. 126)

#8. She looked back at us from the door, and I had a last impression of that beautiful haunted face, the startled eyes, and the drawn mouth. Then she was gone.
“Now, Watson, the fair sex is your department,” said Holmes, with a smile, when the dwindling frou-frou of skirts had ended in the slam of the front door. “What was the fair lady’s game? What did she really want?”

The Return of Sherlock Holmes (1905)
Sherlock Holmes in “The Second Stain” (Doubleday p. 657)

#9. Colonel Ross still wore an expression which showed the poor opinion which he had formed of my companion’s ability, but I saw by the inspector’s face that his attention had been keenly aroused.
“You consider that to be important?” he [Inspector Gregory] asked.
“Exceedingly so.”
“Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?”
“To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.”
“The dog did nothing in the night-time.”
“That was the curious incident,” remarked Sherlock Holmes.

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes (1893)
Inspector Gregory and Sherlock Holmes in “Silver Blaze” (Doubleday p. 346-7)

#10. “But one false statement was made by Barrymore at the inquest. He said that there were no traces upon the ground round the body. He did not observe any. But I did—some little distance off, but fresh and clear.”
“Footprints?”
“Footprints.”
“A man’s or a woman’s?”
Dr. Mortimer looked strangely at us for an instant, and his voice sank almost to a whisper as he answered:
“Mr. Holmes, they were the footprints of a gigantic hound!“

The Hound of the Baskervilles, ch. 2 (1902)
Dr. Mortimer in The Hound of the Baskervilles (Doubleday p. 679)

More details of these quotes can be found in full at the following link:

Link: http://www.bestofsherlock.com/top-10-sherlock-quotes.htm#elementary

My Friday Image: Juniper Artland Sculpture, Firmament by Anthony Gormley

Firmament by Antony Gormley

Exposure 2010

This litte poetic ditty was inspired by this wonderful sculpture which I had the pleasure of seeing in all its splendour at Juniper Artland, Wilkieston, Scotland. You may remember that I mentioned this wonderful inspiring Artland before in a much earlier blog post, on the 15th of June 2014.

The Puzzle of Unforgiving Turf

Black space, a jigsaw of blue, confusing skies.

A giant piece of white mystifying lies,

Still we twist, baffle, and turn,

While blackened steel pieces confuse and burn.

My fingers decipher thoughts, raw and aching,

Questioning layers of paint work mercilessly flaking,

I turn to discern the last bewildering step,

I piece the puzzle, too late, the enigma lies cold and wet.

I trip, and fall, unravel, flip an ankle,

In scattered pieces I confusingly entangle,

But there’s no bewildering cuddle,

Just a gap, no cushion, in air’s baffling puzzle.

A pocket of relentless sky and bemused clouds,

Blankets the confused sounds,

As I fall in pieces, scattering, to the perplexed earth,

Triumph hitting the newly solved, but, oh so, unforgiving turf!

Words, and Photo, good or bad, are my very own!

That was such fun!!!! Love poetry, just wish I was better at writing poems. Still, it’s nice to try. Please, if there any poets out there reading this, do give me feedback, I’m looking to improve 🙂

Links:

https://www.jupiterartland.org/

http://www.antonygormley.com/

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of all copyrighted material in this blog without permission from this blog’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to this blog’s author with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Many thanks.

Why women live longer than men:

Living on the edge? Don’t try this at home guys, especially the last one. EEK. Had to reblog via Barbara Pyett.

Barbara Pyett

Untitled attachment 00107 Untitled attachment 00104 This e-mail was sent to me and I just thought there were so many amazing photos, I must share it with you: Untitled attachment 00023 Untitled attachment 00089 Untitled attachment 00095 Untitled attachment 00092 Untitled attachment 00047 Untitled attachment 00113 Untitled attachment 00026 Untitled attachment 00038 Untitled attachment 00098 Untitled attachment 00050 Untitled attachment 00059 Untitled attachment 00068 Untitled attachment 00062 Untitled attachment 00083 Untitled attachment 00086 Untitled attachment 00101 Untitled attachment 00116 Untitled attachment 00119 Untitled attachment 00125 Untitled attachment 00122 Untitled attachment 00128 Untitled attachment 00071 Thank you to all of those unknown photographers, and to all the guys who participated in these daring feats! No wonder women live longer than men. Wishing you a relaxing Sunday! Untitled attachment 00053

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A Dream Bus Induced By A Curry

Spices can do strange things to you. There’s no doubt about it. I experienced the weirdest dream. Normally my husband is the one to have those exciting, technicolour dreams, but I reckon for that night I stole his dream. With that in mind, here’s a thought for all you frequent dreamers out there:

Great advice from Hypothyroid Mom – stop stealing dreams it’s a dangerous business.

https://www.facebook.com/HypothyroidMom

A Dream Bus Induced By A Curry

After having a lovely family dinner at Bollywood Spice in Cambridge I dreamt I was at a holiday camp. I’m not sure if I was with my family. Though, I certainly wasn’t alone. One of my friends was nearby climbing up a trellis. She didn’t seem to want to come down to greet me, and my other friend was making her way towards me on this unfamiliar pathway. She asked me if I wanted to go swimming. I didn’t have my costume with me so I said No. After they left I was angry with myself for saying No. It was too nice a day not to indulge in a lovely swim.Why hadn’t I said, yes? It wouldn’t take me a minute to join them. I can’t remember the exact details of what happened next but I was now standing in my swimming costume.

The quiet pathway was replaced by a long colourful slide. I was kind of hoping that it would be like one of those pretty, colourful slides that you sometimes see at water parks overseas. Gentle. The kind I prefer! Yes, I’m a bit of a wimp, but the good thing about a dream is you can be as brave as you want to be. You can be a hero.

In my dream the water slide looked more like this: EEK!!!!!

There were kids everywhere, screaming, shouting and jostling for position. Reluctantly, I joined the end of the very long queue to take a ride. I hesitated when I reached the front, hovering, unsure what to do next. The children behind me were getting impatient so I had no choice. If I didn’t move I was sure they were going to shove me off the end of the slide. I didn’t fancy that, so, with trepidation, I, reluctant hero in the making, launched myself. I had no idea where the slide would take me, or what further dangers might await me. It’s punishing ride seemed to go on and on forever. I was thrown from side to side, turned upside down, every possible permutation. But at last my trial came to an abrupt end. I fell off and landed on the concrete with one last great whoosh of water. I swallowed a huge gulp, and spent the next five or ten minutes coughing it up. I tried to wipe my eyes but this was almost impossible as I had nothing to dry myself with. I squeezed some of the water out of my hair, and tried to dry my eyes again. This time I was a bit more successful. I was rewarded by the blurry sight of a town. I’m very short-sighted so it was very blurry! An unfamiliar, blurry town! Just as I was about to set off to explore, one of my fellow revellers came off the slide, and engulfed me up to the shins in water again. Before I had a chance to talk to her she wandered off. How unfriendly! So I was alone again. Undaunted I made my way to the local hotel and walked straight into the lobby. I was still dressed in my swimming costume, bare foot, and dripping wet, yet nobody seemed to notice. It was almost as if this was an everyday occurrence. I had no idea where I was or how to get back home. So I approached one of the hotel staff and asked for help. Soon, several members of the hotel team gathered around me in a brainstorming session to discuss how to get me back home safely.

It was as if the hotel had come to a standstill and my plight was the most important thing on the agenda! Finally a decision was made, two of the hotel receptionists would escort me out of the hotel and help me find a taxi home. My two helpers sent me off in the right direction. When we arrived at the taxi rank they presented me with a bulging purse. The buckle of the purse was struggling to contain its overstuffed contents. I opened it. It was full of CASH!!!!

There were notes and coins of every denomination.

I smiled at the generosity and kindness of these strangers.

“Thank you so much for all your help, but this purse is too full, I can’t take this. Surely it won’t cost me this much to get back?” I asked.

One of the receptionists appeared puzzled. I began to wonder if I was so far from home that a purse full of money was the only way that I could ever have a hope of returning. She glanced at her colleague as if she expected her to say something but she gave no answer, and receiving none, she just smiled.

Finally her colleague spoke. “I don’t know where you’re going, or how you came to be here, but you must ride the yellow taxi, so keep the purse, every single penny.”

So, I did as I was told. I accepted the gift of the large purse. It would have been churlish not to. I looked around. This was no ordinary taxi stop. It was more like a bus stop. There were folding down seats for people to sit on, and a shelter with a roof to keep out the rain. A large vehicle appeared, it was bright yellow, and looked just like a bright yellow school bus. Thank goodness I didn’t have to propel it with my own foot power.

This was no ordinary bus, it was my taxi home. It was a bright yellow VINDALOO Taxi bus induced by a curry, with a large CAUTION sign stamped across it’s front.

Those spices really had fizzed and bubbled and caused one heck load of mischief. I never knew what happened to the rest of the dream as I woke up. Of course. Why is it we always wake up before we find out the conclusion to our dreams? Who knows if I rode the Vindaloo taxi home or not? But it does seem as if I had the sense to accept the big wad of money! Interesting………… Wow, those technicolour dreams are fun hope I steal another one soon!

What an extraordinary dream! Do you find that spices make you have crazy dreams too? Do tell.

Bye for now.

Marje @ Kyrosmagica. xx

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My Kyrosmagica Review of The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Goodreads Synopsis:

Percy Jackson is a good kid, but he can’t seem to focus on his schoolwork or control his temper. And lately, being away at boarding school is only getting worse-Percy could have sworn his pre-algebra teacher turned into a monster and tried to kill him. When Percy’s mom finds out, she knows it’s time that he knew the truth about where he came from, and that he go to the one place he’ll be safe. She sends Percy to Camp Half Blood, a summer camp for demigods (on Long Island), where he learns that the father he never knew is Poseidon, God of the Sea. Soon a mystery unfolds and together with his friends — one a satyr and the other the demigod daughter of Athena — Percy sets out on a quest across the United States to reach the gates of the Underworld (located in a recording studio in Hollywood) and prevent a catastrophic war between the gods.

My review:

The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and The Olympians #1) is the first novel in the Percy Jackson and The Olympian series. The series consists of five novels: The Lightning Thief (2005), The Sea of Monsters (2006), The Titan’s Curse (2007), The Battle of the Labyrinth (2008) and The Last Olympian (2009). It has since been followed by a sequel series of five books titled The Heroes of Olympus.

The Lightning Thief received mostly positive reviews and won awards including the School Library Journal Best Book of 2005.

The Lightning Thief has all the elements to make me purr like a kitten but somehow it left me slightly disappointed. I enjoyed The Lightning Thief but I didn’t love it and that surprised me.

So, a little recap of the story, as I see it. Percy is always getting into trouble. Typical twelve year old boy if you ask me! He thinks his problems are caused by his dyslexia and ADHD playing up. But this isn’t the case, Percy is no ordinary guy, he’s a demigod. He sets off on a quest with a disguised satyr, and the half-blood daughter of Athena, to settle a feud between Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon. Poseidon has been accused of stealing Zeus’ lightning bolt, and unless Percy can return the bolt, there will be a war between the gods. Along the way Percy discovers who his father is, no ordinary mortal of course, and Percy and his companions meet the Furies, Medusa, the motorcycle thug Ares, and various other immortals….

REASONS Why I should have loved it:

Greek Gods.

I just love myths, and legends. But somehow at times this just seems too far-fetched. Can I say that? When I’m talking about fantasy? Well, I just did! Greek Gods in the 21st Century – Some of it works and some of it fell short of perfect. Can you envisage a modern day Mount Olympus on the 600th floor of the Empire State Building? The door to Hades right there at DOA Recording Studio, somewhere in LA, really? I see what Rick Riordan’s trying to do, giving Greek mythology a modern day voice to entice the younger reader into an awakening interest in Greek mythology. I applaud him for that but maybe for me it was a bit too much…… modernising.

Characters and Narrative Voice.

I struggled to get emotionally involved in Percy’s quest. He’s had a hard life but I’m just not feeling it. Sometimes (not always) he sounds older than a twelve year old. To be fair maybe demigods abandoned by their fathers grow up too quickly, that would explain it.

Parallels to Harry Potter

There are many parallels between The Lightning Thief and Harry Potter, and I’m a huge fan of Harry Potter, so this kind of irked me a bit.

Here are some of the similiarities:

Percy’s closest friends are a girl, the half-blood daughter of Athena, Annabeth, and a boy, Grover, a disguised satyr, rather like Hermione and Ron, but in costume.

Percy goes to Camp Half Blood were he trains, this reminded me of Hogwarts, but just different setting.

The camps are divided into different houses which compete against each other in a Capture the Flag tournament. Percy realises his powers in water, and how water can heal him. The Capture the Flag tournament is a dead ringer for Quidditch. Of the two I preferred the fast pace and excitement of Quidditch.

One of the houses has kids who Percy doesn’t get along with, so Slytherin.

Percy and friends use an invisibility cap – invisibility cloak in Harry Potter.

********Spoiler************ Look Away.

***At the end Evil Kronos might be returning – kinda like Voldermort.***

The aspects of the story I liked:

Incorporating dyslexia into the storyline. This is great. This makes dyslexics cool! Dyslexics can read and understand ancient Greek. It’s about time that dyslexics get the attention and recognition they deserve.

The ADHD. Again. Clever. Stop slagging off those kids that can’t concentrate in class. They have advanced reflexes, and are battle ready!

What else did I really enjoy?

The humour. Made me chuckle. Humour rating, 5 crazy stars :

Medusa. I loved this part. Stop staring! Serves you right haven’t you heard it’s rude to stare. Medusa grabbed me by the scruff, while I clamped my eyes tight, shut. You would wouldn’t you? Medusa rating 5 stars !

The Three Furies, especially Mrs Dodds.

The nasty step dad got his comeuppance. Enjoyed this. He deserved it.

The twist in the tale at the end. Of course I saw this coming but nice twist.

My overall conclusion:

This first book in the series is middle grade fiction. I sense that as the story develops the characters will grow older, and find their emotional voice and depth. I would be interested in reading more of this series to see how it progresses. If I don’t I’ll be in trouble as my daughter is a huge Percy Jackson fan!

Highly recommended for readers of Middle Grade, YA, Fantasy, Mythology, Adventure and anyone who enjoys a good laugh. Oh, that’s me!

My rating:

Difficult to rate. I’m going to settle for 3.75 stars…………

Author Website:

http://www.rickriordan.com/home.aspx

Found this interesting piece of information about the development of the novel on Wikipedia to share with you:

– “Development for both The Lightning Thief and the Percy Jackson series began when Riordan began making stories for his son Haley who had been diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. His son had been studying Greek mythology in second grade and asked that his father come up with bedtime stories based on Greek myths. Riordan had been a Greek mythology teacher in middle school for many years and was able to remember enough stories to please his son. Soon Riordan ran out of myths and his son requested that Riordan make new ones using the characters from Greek myths while adding some new ones. Riordan created the fictional character Percy Jackson and his travels across the United States to recover Zeus’s lightning bolt. After Riordan finished telling the story his son asked that his dad write a book based on Percy’s adventures.” Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lightning_Thief

Some of my favourite quotes:

“My name is Percy Jackson.
I’m twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.
Am I a troubled kid?
Yeah. You could say that.”

“How did you die?”
“We er….drowned in a bathtub.”
“All three of you?”
“It was a big bathtub.”

“Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades’ underwear?”

Grover didn’t say anything for awhile. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, “Can I have your apple?”

“The real world is where the monsters are.”

“The sea does not like to be restrained. ”

“Your uncle,” Poseidon sighed, “has always had a flair for dramatic exits. I think he would’ve done well as the god of theater.”

“Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards.”

Have you read The Lightning Thief? Do comment, I’d love to hear from you.

Bye for now,

Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx

Punography and words of wisdom from The Passive Aggressive Raven

I found this table of Puns on Facebook today. So, thought I’d share it with you.

Here’s a little gem that I discovered. When you’re feeling a bit indecisive take a bit of advice from the Passive Aggressive Raven, Nevermind.

He’s got all the answers but still confused?

It’s ok to be not sure. You’ll find your way, I’m sure.

THIS BLOG claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise noted. Images on this blog are copyright to its respectful owners. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and you do not wish for it to appear on this site, please e-mail me with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed.

I Always Wondered…

Don’t you just love the Ice Age movies? Had to reblog this from Have We Had Help. 🙂 🙂

Have We Had Help?

So, continental drift is all down to Scrat’s obsession with acorns. I always wondered… 😉

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My Friday Bookish Statues Quote Garden

HAPPY FRIDAY!! Bookish Statues Quote Garden awaits you, please stay a while, smell the flowers, enjoy the oldie-worldly waft of pipe smoke, hear the fluttering of tiny, gossamer wings, and the cheeky croaking of Kermit the frog. But before you leave don’t forget to say “hello” to my resident angel Mae West, even if she confesses, “I’m No Angel.”

SO LET’S BEGIN OUR TOUR WITH THIS

SUSPICIOUS LOOKING LASS

WHO IS PRONE TO SAYING:

“DON’T PINCH MY BOOK OR MY FLOWERS!!!”

I reckon she would approve of the following quote:

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. ~Chinese Proverb

Let’s celebrate books!

Some wonderful quotes about yes, you guessed it, reading!

Books are a uniquely portable magic. ~Stephen King

A good book has no ending. ~R.D. Cumming

It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it. ~Oscar Wilde

A book must be an ice-axe to break the seas frozen inside our soul. ~Franz Kafka

I’ve never known any trouble that an hour’s reading didn’t assuage. ~Charles de Secondat, Baron de la Brède et de Montesquieu, Pensées Diverses

To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations — such is a pleasure beyond compare. ~Kenko Yoshida

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. ~Mark Twain

To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting. ~Edmund Burke

A house without books is like a room without windows. ~Heinrich Mann

The wise man reads both books and life itself. ~Lin Yutang

To read a book for the first time is to make an acquaintance with a new friend; to read it for a second time is to meet an old one. ~Chinese Saying

He who lends a book is an idiot. He who returns the book is more of an idiot. ~Arabic Proverb

To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life. ~W. Somerset Maugham

To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations — such is a pleasure beyond compare. ~Kenko Yoshida

http://www.quotegarden.com/books.html

Celebrating J.M Barrie’s Peter Pan:

I have a great fondness for Peter Pan. My eldest daughter played him in her primary school play and I still remember that day with fondness and gut-wrenching trepidation! I was more nervous than she was! My youngest played Robin Hood! Guess if you can deduce which of my children tends to be a bit more of a rascal?

So to celebrate staying young here are a few Peter Pan quotes:

“To die would be an awfully big adventure.”

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”

“To live will be an awfully big adventure.”

“Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning. ”

A little bit of Kermit Wisdom:

It’s not easy being green.

Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers and dreamers and me.

Time’s fun when you’re having flies.

Here’s some simple advice: Always be Yourself. Never take yourself too seriously. And beware of advice from experts, pigs and members of Parliament.

(How wise, Kermit.)

I’ve got a dream too, but it’s about singing and dancing and making people happy. That’s the kind of dream that get’s better the more people you share it with.

(What a wonderful philosophy!)

Contemplative pipe smoking

Not that I recommend smoking! But some famous authors were fond of a pipe or two:

The first to come to mind is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of Sherlock Holmes.

And of course Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional sleuth too.

As well as these famous authors:

J.R.R. Tolkien

Dr. Suess

Mark Twain

William Faulkner

C.S. Lewis

Ernest Hemingway

A.A. Milne

http://www.tobaccopipes.com/blog/10-famous-pipe-smokers-1-authors-and-their-tobacco-pipes/

I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.”
-Albert Einstein, 1950

“The fact is, Squire, the moment a man takes to a pipe, he becomes a philosopher. It’s the poor man’s friend; it calms the mind, soothes the temper, and makes a man patient under difficulties. It has made more good men, good husbands, kind masters, indulgent fathers, than any other blessed thing on this universal earth.”
-”Sam Slick, The Clockmaker”

“A pipe is the fountain of contemplation, the source of pleasure, the companion of the wise; and the man who smokes, thinks like a philosopher and acts like a Samaritan.”
-Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

Edward Bulwer-Lytton also coined the well know phrase, “the pen is mightier than the sword,.” as well as the infamous opening line: “it was a dark and stormy night,’ in the 1830 novel Paul Clifford.

Here is the opening line in its entirety:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

“A pipe in the mouth makes it clear that there has been no mistake–you are undoubtedly a man.”
-A. A. Milne

So let’s leave the pipe smoking behind for a moment, it really isn’t good for your health, and focus on angels reading in a quiet, secluded spot.

Angels and Mae West!

Wait a minute. You said quiet, and secluded. Mae West doesn’t sound like the retiring type to me. Well the answer lies at the end so please keep on reading!

The reason angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly. ~G.K. Chesterton, “Orthodoxy”

The Angels were all singing out of tune,
And hoarse with having little else to do,
Excepting to wind up the sun and moon
Or curb a runaway young star or two.
~Lord Byron

It is not known precisely where angels dwell — whether in the air, the void, or the planets. It has not been God’s pleasure that we should be informed of their abode. ~Voltaire

Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth
Unseen, both when we wake and when we sleep.
~John Milton, Paradise Lost

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. ~Michelangelo

Here’s the clue Mae West’s quote:

I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit. ~Mae West

http://www.quotegarden.com/angels.html

My Friday Images: Human Flowers and Other Eccentricities

Human Flowers.

A Very Happy Friday to you. Let’s talk about a new species. Of what you might ask. I’d reply, “You never know what you are looking at these days. Images trick you. Eyes deceive you.” You’d say, “Really, prove it!”

Yes, I intend to, I like a bit of a challenge. These are ………. drum roll please ………human flowers. No, they can’t be you say! They look so real. Those can’t be people. Well, here’s the thing, they are real. Astounding. Brilliant.

A delicate gust of wind and those blooms might just blow away!

thV4JS3KQS — Black Hair, Red Tights Rock!

More of these wonderful human flowers at: http://photo.superlogical.net/2011/06/people-as-flowers/

Garden Statues Extraordinaire

So after those human flowers what manner of human eccentricity will we meet next?

No humble garden gnome. Of course not, what do you take me for!

Let’s take a look at some quite extraordinary Garden Statues.

Buddha ……………………

Flattening the long grass.

A Sea Serpent perhaps?

Watering the grass.

jardin-202150__180 Jardin Botanique, Montreal, Statue — Jardin Botanique, Montreal

A meandering pathway leading to …

A faraway hand!

Perhaps a cat stuck up a tree?

Give Me A leg up.

Or your Garden needs watering?

While you’re dressed up in your Sunday Best!

The Sun is out

What a perfect way to take some shade

A little picnic lunch.

How sweet.

Yikes, a scary dwarf carrying a pitcher.

RUN!

This one may have a poison apple.

She’s wearing the biggest choker I’ve ever seen!

Stop Fighting!
There’s enough water for everyone.

I told you so!

This lady’s trying to play guitar!

Shame she’s seized up with all that moss.

Have a lovely weekend. Keep your eye out for all those amazing sights, and keep me posted!

Links:

Jardin Botanique Montreal: http://espacepourlavie.ca/jardin-botanique

In case this has inspired you to rush out and buying some unusual garden accessories: http://www.garden4less.co.uk/oriental-stone-garden-ornaments.asp

Or maybe you might be interested in Feng Shui? This link is for Dragons in Feng Shui, but there are also all sorts of other interesting Feng Shui uses on this link, e.g. crystals and Feng Shui too. So, take a look: http://lifewithfengshui.com/tag/dragon-statue

THIS BLOG claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise noted. Images on this blog are copyright to its respectful owners. Most of the images that I post I find on http://www.pixabay.com. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and you do not wish for it to appear on this site, please contact or e-mail me with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed.

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