Mother in Laws and Black Sheep

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Whatever we think of our mother in laws there is no doubt that they are here to stay. When we take the plunge and say “I do,” should we pause for a moment to reflect?  The implications of those simple words are enormous,  blinded by love we carry on, without a care in the world. “I do,” should be re-worded to I take you and your family, and promise to accept them wholeheartedly, black sheep and all.

In every family there is always a black sheep. Often they are referred to in hushed whispers, a hidden family secret, or else they are tolerated in a jovial kind of way.  In our family we tend to have the hushed whispers type of black sheep.  In my husband’s case he fits the jovial type of black sheep, the youngest of five headstrong children. His father would call him “Davy Black the Coalman’s son,” denouncing his son was the fruit of his loins. Who could blame his father? His son was and still is,  a bit of a rascal. He would climb out of his bedroom window to go out for a night on the town, or water his dad’s whisky when he fancied a drink. Whether or not he deserved the term, Davy Black the Coalman’s son,  it stuck.  He liked to push the boundaries and still does.

Now I digress. Back to the subject of mother in laws. Well mine is without doubt a character. Well into her eighties, it doesn’t seem any time ago that she was in the play park, “beaming,” her term, for standing up on the swings.  She chats to every single person she meets so a quick trip anywhere takes a very long time! Even if she was just going  to pick up a few groceries, she would often disappear, leaving her husband staring out the window for hours wondering whatever had become of her.  I remember recently we were shopping for shoes, she was upset when she realised that my mind had wondered and  I wasn’t listening!  Like my father, she is a story-teller, a chatter box, an adventurer. Her  sense of adventure meant that she travelled abroad to work as a young woman. She is still young at heart, takes great store in her appearance, and likes it when handsome men offer her a helping hand with her luggage!

I do admire her sense of “joie de vivre”, and just hope that when I am in my eighties I am half as sprightly as she is.

Unfortunately, sometimes “joie de vivre” can be lacking and the joining of two families can be disastrous. This  can be evident right from the very beginning. Even before the cake is cut, the die has been cast. The symbolic cutting of the cake becomes like a dividing line, two separate teams warring for a slice. The marriage crumbles. The cake never stood a chance.

So whatever you do, check out your future husband or wife’s family, because marriage isn’t just about two individuals,  it is about a joining of two families. There will be disagreements, angry words spoken, this is part and parcel of life.  Even if two families have differing cultural and religious beliefs, respect, and tolerance go a long way to paving a long and happy union.

Photos courtesy of Google Images.

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Marje @ Kyrosmagica

Hi. Welcome to my blog: M J Mallon - Kyrosmagica Publishing. A blog about magic, books, writing, laughter, and much more! I'm a debut writer, my first YA fantasy novel The Curse of Time - Book 1 - Bloodstone is set in Cambridge. I write book reviews on my blog and on Goodreads. I have a penchant for travel and have relatives in far flung places, Australia, Malaysia, and Singapore, (my birthplace.) I grew up in in Bonnie Scotland, in Edinburgh, and now live in Cambridge. I love sunny, hot places, particularly Rome, Venice, Portugal, Barcelona, and I forgot to mention the sun drenched beaches of the Caribbean, how could I? I am lucky to have been blessed with two lovely daughters and a husband who I fondly refer to in this blog as my black sheep. Family joke! With my passion for travel, culture, beautiful beaches, good food, books, theatre, writing, and humour, I hope to keep you entertained. I'm loving every minute of this creative journey, please join me.

7 thoughts on “Mother in Laws and Black Sheep”

      1. Hah. After 28 years of being married, I think we’re in it for the long haul by now. I only meant to point out that sometimes it isn’t all up front and people shouldn’t feel they missed something if things are different down the road a bit. But a very good post on your part! Enjoyed.

      2. It’s funny how things that seem so important when you’re first married seem like nothing after you’re married this long, isn’t it? I used to be so caught up in the details and the small things, but have to say now that it goes a whole lot deeper than anything you have when you’re only married a few years. Kind of like a good wine….better as it ages!

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