#Blog Battle – Week 21 – Writing Theme Eye

Well it’s time for another Blog Battle, if you haven’t come across Rachael Ritchey’s  Blog Battles here’s your chance to join in this fun community of writers.

This link will take you to her blog battle page: http://rachaelritchey.com/blogbattle/

The rules are:

Week 21 Theme will be Eye

Date to Post: Tuesday, August 4th 2015


  1. 1000 words max
  2. fictional tale (or true if you really want)
  3. PG (no more than PG-13) Content – let’s keep this family friendly!
  4. Your story must contain the word(s) from the theme and/or be centered around the theme in a way that shows it is clearly related
  5. Go for the entertainment value!
  6. Post your story by Tuesday 11:59 PM PST
  7. Use the hashtag #BlogBattle when tweeting your story, put a link back to your #BlogBattle Short Story in the comments section of this page, and/or include a link to this page in your own blog post (it creates a “ping-back” which will alert me and our friends to your #BlogBattle post)
  8. Have fun!

This is a new piece of writing, it is a continuation idea from my first manuscript which is open ended and could become a series of books. If I wrote a second novel I would like the male character to develop his wicked side so this is a short unedited snippet from an idea I have. I hope you like it! This is probably more a YA plus or New Adult type of idea rather than a children’s book!



The Eye of the Shadow

Bethany always came to the same spot to read her book, the quietest corner of the park near her University campus. Today she saw that this favourite spot had been invaded by  a strange person who she had never seen before. She considered moving elsewhere but Bethany couldn’t bring herself to move away.

The sunlight drifted over the young man, a warm caress lingered on his upper body, savouring him. He was stripped to the waist, his back lay like a half completed painting, a terrible deed still to be done. She imagined finishing his painting. Each exquisite brush stroke could become a wicked promise, or a sweet memory Bethany couldn’t begin to decide which of the two would be more likely.

At this moment Bethany spectacled eyes found no appeal in her chosen book, she did the unforgiveable, the unthinkable, this socially awkward book-worm pretended to read! She just couldn’t keep her eyes from the young man. It was too easy to stare at such a beautiful someone who lay face down in the grass. She felt a delicious sense of wickedness staring at his muscular but lean body. A flood of hesitant shadows drifted spreading their eerie pictures on the sunny grass.

He turned around. She didn’t have time to look away, his motion had been lightning quick, as if he hoped to catch her staring at him basking in the sun. He caught her guilt straight in the eye, and sent it back to her in an unexpected ricochet. He didn’t look down or away, no attempt was made by him to play such a game, his eyes bore into her soul, and rested there imprisoned in her cluttered thoughts. His gaze was so arresting that she was certain that she had forgotten how to breathe. She gasped. A second or two passed by but she could swear that he still held her soul in his dark green eyes, resting like a tiny glimmer of crystal light, a blink and she was sure that it would be gone.

She had no idea what his face looked like, all she could see were his eyes, his beautiful eyes, cruel and gentle, dark and bright.

He stood up in one quick fluid movement, his agility reminiscent of a sleek panther, and then he smiled. Bethany saw the smile. The eyes told her to. She wasn’t sure if his mouth was forming a nice smile but somehow it didn’t matter. She wanted to capture that smile and plant it in her memory for later.

“Hello,” he said, delivering each syllable like a warning.

Bethany swallowed. She tried to return his uncertain gift of a smile but the smile that she would give appeared to have been swallowed, along with her words. She coughed and said nothing. A dry sensation lodged in her throat.

He walked over and stood directly in front of her. Now his eyes implored her to see his jet black hair, shining like a panther’s, willing her to touch it.

She trembled, the forgotten book slipped from her grasp, she reached out and stroked his hair. There was an expression of fear trapped in her eyes, but a desperate need in her shaking hands.

He picked up her book and glanced at it, turning the pages absent-mindedly as if he was searching for an answer to a question that he had posed. After a short while he grew restless and began clawing at the pages of her book until he threw it away in irritation. His temper lashed out, a cruel, forgotten wind that subsided before it began.

Bethany couldn’t believe it. Now her precious book meant nothing to her, yet a moment ago it had been her heart. He sat next to her, this book mauler, this uninvited marauder who dared to touch a loose strand of her hair and place it behind her ear. She did nothing to stop him, instead she stared into his eyes and plunged into their delightful but horrifying depths.

She could feel a tumbling sensation, as if she was falling down a long corridor. The corridor was narrow, wide, long, short, straight, and bending. The next thing she knew the tumbling sensation slammed to a complete and endless halt. She stood up, but her legs didn’t remember how to. She meant to run away but he kissed her, his lips hard and soft, apologetic and unrelenting. Her knees betrayed her giving way, buckling under, an independent component of her body.

The corner of his mouth twitched, an almost imperceptible motion but his eyes gave her a sensuous message before she had even imagined the possibility. She swore that she could hear a tiny purring sound, a throaty tender note that slipped into the heady air. He claimed her from the summer breeze as if she was a precious prize and laid her on the warm grass planting tiny kisses on her. The flood of hesitant shadows stretched their eerie long limbs reaching further into the untamed wilderness of grass.

“Who are you?” she breathed whimpering.

“I’m the Shadow you’ve been hiding from,” he replied.

She looked up at the sky, the sun was still out yet shadows danced and played all around them. She felt a strange sensation invade her body, a coldness swept deep within her soul, plunging her into a strange but welcome melancholy.

“It’s alright,” he said, his voice sounding regretful, but certain, “You and I are bonded by our shadows. Don’t be afraid. There’s no need to fight, that moment is forever gone.”

The richness of his voice inflamed her cold body, this purring black demon’s tongue struck a chord in her pounding heart.

He kissed her one last time. A tender kiss. Then it was complete.

Now he smiled, and frowned. “Welcome.”


© Marjorie Mallon 2015 – aka, Kyrosmagica. All Rights Reserved.

I hope you enjoyed my entry for #Blog Battle. Do leave a comment I’d love to hear your opinion on my latest piece of writing for the #Blog Battle.


Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx


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24 thoughts on “#Blog Battle – Week 21 – Writing Theme Eye

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    1. Thank you so much. Its great to get feedback, especially when I have managed to get the hormone levels right! Helpful comments like yours spur me on to write some more, possibly I could develop this idea with some of the blog battle prompts. 🙂

    1. Glad you could feel those raging hormones Rachael – that was my intention. Yes steamy and confused, this guy is both! He’s a bit of a mixture of wickedness with a tiny glint of goodness so hence the confusion…. Confession: I don’t normally read too many romance novels – will have to now!

  1. I found this quite a chilling story Marje. It had my heart rate raised (I guess that was the hormones?) It was beautiful told and the two characters worked so very well together. Well done.

    1. Thank you Hugh, appreciate your comment. It’s a bit of a new departure for me, trying out something a little different! My eldest daughter read through it and she liked it too!

  2. Wow!! This was really good. *still fanning myself* and I do read a lot of romance novels. 🙂 So well written, I loved all the contradictions…just beautiful <3

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