Aishwarya, aka, Kitty from Kitty’s Verses, was Colleen’s selection from last month’s challenge. She has provided the photo for this month’s challenge.
I’ve chosen to write a Stacked/Double Inverted Etheree
Twenty lines with a syllable count per line of 10/9/8/7/6/5/4/3/2/1, 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10 syllables per line, which looks like an hourglass when centered on the page.
The track meanders to nowhere special
I imagine places, people, dogs.
The train driver speeding through lunch
I hope he forgives me. If…
I step out, one last step.
Feet, a friend to air
Sigh. The track cries
Stay strong. Fight.
Who I am.
Brought to these tears
Lost. Anxious. Depressed.
Peering up there’s heaven
And down, the track is groaning
Pleading, don’t kiss death. Lucy, live.
I halt! I see them. And who I am.
Family, friends, my dog barking, come home.
© M J Mallon
This poem is inspired by a book I reviewed recently by Jackie Carreira: The Seventh Train. I’d recommend reading it. Here is the link to my review: https://mjmallon.com/2020/08/15/book-review-the-seventh-train-by-jackie-carriera-book-review/
The book touches upon the impact of suicides on train drivers. Hence, the mention in this poem.
A sad topic but an important one to address, particularly during these difficult times.
Remember, if you are ever feeling lost, low or depressed there is always a better day waiting for you in the future. Today might be hard but keep your family and friends close to your heart and always talk through your problems with a friend, family member or counsellor. A problem shared is always halved.
Sending love, hugs and hopes for happy days.
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Love it, sis!
Thank you Ritu. Been so busy with short story writing recently so about time to do some short form poetry!
It’s great to get back to it!!
This is a perfect poem and you have caught the feelings so well. Life can do easily get you down , really down. We must always think of how our actions impact on others.💜
Excellent Marje.. really drew me in…xx
Thank you Sally. xx
Great work, Marje. This is a tough subject and you covered it well. <3
Thanks Colleen. It was a tricky one to write I hope I did it justice.
You did, Marje. I like these longer forms when you combine verses. It gives you more room to convey your thoughts. <3
Yes me too. I like to try different forms when I can. Some seem to fit the topic better than others. It’s interesting.
It’s the syllable count. I’ve been experimenting with assonance, when two or more words, close to one another repeat the same vowel sound, but start with different consonant sounds. It really adds another layer to the meaning. <3
That sounds interesting Colleen. There is so much to learn and enjoy with poetry. <3 x
I agree. It’s fun to learn about the all the techniques. 😍
Definitely. <3 x
Beautifully written on a difficult subject matter.
Many thanks Denise. A tough topic but one that came to mind with my recent read and the photo.
I liked it, Marje. This is such a reflective poem.
Wow, Marje. What a powerful poem. And the book that inspired it is intriguing. Well done and perfect for the prompt.
Thank you Diana. Yes would highly recommend Jackie Carreira’s books. 🙂
I saw her book mentioned on another blog too. Definitely intriguing.
This is a gorgeous double etheree. I loved it when they came back
Yes I wanted a happy ending. Especially now when everything is so tough.
Thank you Traci. 🙂
You’re welcome, Marje!
Powerful subject and you nailed it in your poem. Well done, Marje. <3
Thank you so much Vashti. <3 x