I’m looking for a Christmas venue for our staff party which is proving to be more difficult than I first anticipated. A colleague at work suggested I considered The Cock pub. Anyway, to cut a long story short I called The Cock and checked the size of the venue. We require a big capacity – over fifty guests – and I was informed that the venue was too small. Dead pan, I reported this back to my colleagues with the words: ‘the cock is too small!’
Cue much laughing… Oh my!
Thereafter, not content with the way things were going I googled other possible pubs and discovered a feisty possibility called The Wrestling Cocks. This wasn’t big enough but I was impressed by their passionate pride to their pub! They pointed us in the direction of another venue – the name escapes me – but sadly this didn’t meet my exalted expectations either…
So after much soul searching and a protracted period of titillating I’m now considering a more simple approach. Perhaps a venue with a numeral in the name such as The Three Buttes, or The Eight Ding-Dongs...
ALL PUBS NAMES IN ITALICS HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THEIR PRIVACY!
The pressure’s growing
To find a perfect venue
A decision soon
Be it big, or small in size
Carry on… up the pub dears!
Synonyms: For influence (I used pressure) and perception: (feeling)
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