Think you can’t do something, think again. I admire the adventurous spirit so had to reblog this: Travel with Storytime with John – a guy with such a can do, positive attitude, whatever he has I want to steal some!
I often get emails, and messages from people – asking the same question – “how do you afford travel? Are you from a rich family? Do you have connections? Did you get some crazy compensation deal – and have decided to blow it all on roaming the world rather than making sound investments?!”
Well, no. No to all of those. I wish it was something as easy as being in a car accident – and getting free money, but it isn’t. It’s kind of like The Wizard of Oz…it looks like a spectacular vision until you see the cogs turning behind the curtain. Yes, the actual facts of the matter are a lot less glossy – and whilst this may be hard to take for some…I actually work.
Take my first major trip on my own, for example. My year abroad studying in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
I’m delighted to Welcome Ian Probert to Kyrosmagica for a lively Q & A session. Lovely photo Ian. Very casual. That floor is spotless. So, first things first let’s start off with the preliminaries, the getting to know you questions, before I start to tease you into revealing more.
Where do you live now? If you could live anywhere in the world where would that one place be?
I live in Islington and I couldn’t think of anywhere better to live. I’m a bit like Douglas Adams. He was an Islingtonophile. I interviewed him at his house once but ended up spending the afternoon listening to Randy Newman. It was enough to put me off Randy Newman for life. We spoke a lot about John Lennon. He had a bootleg of Real Love, which the ‘threatles’ eventually made into a pretty terrible single. It was a bog shock when he died. But then when isn’t it?
Have you always known that you wanted to write? When did you start writing? Did you have a Eureka moment or did you just come to it gradually?
I’m going to sound big-headed but at school I was only good at two things: Art and English. As a kid I filled exercise books up with terrible stories about vampires. However, as a working class kid growing up in Bristol writing was what other people did. As such I had a succession of dead end jobs until one day I found a typewriter and sent something off to a magazine. I was lucky that the first thing I ever wrote was published. These days I’m more used to rejection.
What inspired you to write? Favourite authors maybe, and/or some other more mysterious source of inspiration/influences?
My first professional job was writing letters to fellow students’ banks at art college. I was paid in beer and discovered that I was really good at it. Inspiration? Well I can give you a list of people that I like: Brett Easton Ellis, Paul Auster, H E Todd to name a few off the top of my head. But they weren’t the inspiration. The inspiration was LIFE. Like most people I occasionally have something to say. I find that I can communicate better through the written word. I’m crap at talking. I splutter and sound like an idiot. My wife is great at this. She tears me to pieces in an argument.
Kyrosmagica – Me too, I communicate better through the written word too. Speaking is much, much harder.
If you could summarise your love of writing in one sentence what would that sentence be?
I’d paraphrase Joseph Turner. ‘Writing is a rummy business.’
What kind of special qualities do you think a writer possesses? Apart from a touch of madness!
A writer or a GOOD writer? There’s a big difference. We all have differing opinions of course, but to me a real writer should be able to hit the ground running. To engage the reader from the first sentence and, more importantly, to make the reader forget that they are actually reading. To me it’s never been about the number of words you know, or where you place the commas. It’s how you present your ideas. It’s ideas that make a writer, not words.
Do you follow any particular routine of writing? Are you a structured writer? Or do you just throw caution to the wind?
I’m completely unstructured. I work when I feel like it at any time of the day or night until I start to bore myself. If I’m bored so will the reader be. That’s not to say that I don’t admire people such as Nick Hornby and Zadie Smith who, I believe, rent offices and treat writing like a 9-5 job. It’s horses for courses.
Kyrosmagica – I’m unstructured too. So identify 100% on that one.
Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, a people person or an animal lover? Sorry, for the silly question but I reckon a lot of writers are animal lovers, and well there seems to be two writing camps, shy writers and more outgoing ones, and those who are just plain obsessed with their dogs and cats. Or a family man perhaps? Just trying to get a handle on you as a person.
Who is Ian Probert?
I’m old enough to recognise and to have come to terms with the fact that I’m completely weird. My wife sees it too. So do other people who know me. I seem to spend most of my life trying to put up a normal front that people will find acceptable. I’m certainly not alone in this. I’m a curious combination of incredible egotist and whimpering insecure baby. A compliment can make me a friend for life, a criticism can make me reach for the switchblade. Years ago a journo at the Big Issue gave one of my books a bad review. I actually waited outside their offices intent on taking it up with him personally. Thankfully he
didn’t appear. Do I like animals? Not really. I don’t understand them. I can see that as a species we have a deep rooted, fundamental urge to enjoy a symbiotic relationship with other creatures; but me, I’d rather have a Playstation. You don’t have to feed it. It doesn’t need walking. It doesn’t cover your clothes in hair. And you don’t have to organise people to look after it when you take a holiday. You can’t play video games on a pet either.
Kyrosmagica – I admire your bravery. All those pet lovers out there will be incensed. Yes, incensed!
What made you write Johnny Nothing? Was the book born out of a sense of boredom, or dissatisfaction with life?
Well it’s been pretty well documented elsewhere that I was very ill for about 15 years and I wasn’t able to write. I was close to death. When I finally got better I had a creative burst of energy and wanted to write something for my ten-year-old daughter, who didn’t have much of an idea that I used to write for a living. It ended up – I hope – being for kids and adults. I think it’s actually a fairly political book. Although naturally there are lots of fart jokes.
Kyrosmagica – So sorry to hear about your illness Ian. Glad you got through it. Must have been dreadful, fifteen years. You deserved one heck load of a creative burst of energy after suffering that long. Oh and what a combination!Politics and Wind. Sounds about right!
How important do you think a title is? How did you choose the title of Johnny Rotten and your other books?
A title is very important. Which is why I didn’t call the book ‘Johnny Rotten’. Had I done that I may well have attracted an audience of ageing punk rockers, which wouldn’t have been such a bad thing. However, I wanted to attract kids. So I called the book ‘Johnny Nothing.’
See what I mean? I’m too sarcastic for words. Make one simple typo and I jump on you.
Kyrosmagica – Oops sorry, Ian, I deserved that! It’s my generation. Johnny tends to equal rotten in my sub-conscious. I must have been listening to punk rock when I typed up the questions.
Since I’ve proven myself to be an incompetent punk rocker I may as well try to redeem myself with a couple of excellent quotes:
John Lydon: “You should never, ever be understood completely. That’s like the kiss of death, isn’t it? It’s a full stop. I don’t ever think you should put full stops on thoughts. They change.”
Freddie Mercury: “Is Billy Idol just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that way?”
Back to my Questions! Who are your greatest supporters and your most difficult critics?
My wife is unbelievable. She has complete and utter faith in me. Which is something that I certainly don’t have. If it wasn’t for her I would probably stop writing and become a waiter or something. Most difficult critic? All of them. I can’t think of a writer who can take any criticism. Most writer refuse to read reviews because they find it too hurtful. I can have hundred good reviews but the bad one is the only one I will remember.
Kyrosmagica – It must be tough. I am always very aware of this when I’m reviewing, I try to be honest, and fair. People forget how much time and effort authors invest in their writing. Writers bare a little bit of their souls on public display.
I think the choice of illustrations in a book can make or break a book, do you agree? There is a darkness to the illustrations which makes the book visually startling and different. How did you find the illustrator for Johnny Nothing?
Kyrosmagica – This is the moment when I confess that I want to kill you, a writer and an artist, how talented can one person be!UGH! Take a look at the artwork from Johnny Nothing and cry!
Johnny Nothing
Uncle Marley
Organist
Reporter
Felicity
God
Vicar
Johnny
Tramp
Kiss
I’m over that outburst now. BACK TO MY Q AND A!
I believe you have self-published and also traditionally published. What are the pitfalls of both methods, and what method of publishing would you recommend to debut authors?
Oh blimey. I’m still trying to get my head around this myself. I don’t know. In traditional publishing you might get an advance and some help with the marketing but not much else. They get you in the papers but take 80% of your earnings. Most traditional publishers still expect you to do the bulk of the marketing. In indie publishing you get no advance but a bigger slice of the pie. Obviously you have to do all the marketing yourself, which is really hard. Did I say INCREDIBLY, UNBELIEVABLY difficult? Newspapers won’t review your books and you struggle to get on the radio or telly. I don’t think that either method is satisfactory but I do enjoy the independence of indie publishing. I do, however, miss interacting with other human beings.
If you could choose one quote to inspire others to write what would it be?
‘Marley was dead to begin with…’ If you can begin a book better than that you’re going places.
Kyrosmagica – Ha Ha! Scrooge, Humbug!
What are you working on now?
Something called ‘Dan’s Dead’ in which the hero dies on the very first page. It’s going to be a pretty short book!
Kyrosmagica – Sounds intense, but intense is good.
Now here’s to a wonderful excerpt of Johnny Nothing. CHEERS! ENJOY!!!!
EXCERPT OF JOHNNY NOTHING
Bill had a shaven head and was wearing a blue tracksuit. He was almost seven feet tall and built like an outdoor toilet made of brick. Bill didn’t realise this but he was a distant descendent of Neanderthal Man. He had only one eyebrow – one long bushy eyebrow that reached right across his forehead. He looked like what you might get if you force fed a member of Oasis with a half-tonne black plastic sackful of steroids. And if you were brave enough to be present when he took off his tracksuit you would discover that his back was so covered in hair that he was able part it with a comb. If Bill had had more of an interest in fashion, he might even have considered giving it a curly perm and perhaps a few extensions. On his right arm, Bill had a tattoo which simply read ‘Bill’. This was in case he woke up one morning and forgot who he was. This was actually less unlikely than you might imagine because standing next to him was his twin brother. His name was Ben and he was identical to Bill in every way except that the tattoo on his arm read ‘Bin’ (the tattooist was either South African or not a very good speller). He was wearing a red tracksuit. Bill gave Mr. and Mrs. MacKenzie the tiniest of smiles and managed to grunt ‘hello’. Ben gave the couple exactly the same tiniest of smiles and also managed to grunt ‘hello’.
The two men were standing protectively close to Johnny. They were so large that in the confines of Johnny’s bedroom they looked like giants, which they were. They were so enormous that each of them had their own postcode. They were so gigantic that they had their passport photos taken by satellite. They were so humungous that you could spend all day thinking up rubbishy jokes about how big they were and never adequately describe just how indescribably, earth-shatteringly ENORMOUS they were. By no stretch of the imagination could you call them small (unless, of course, you were a lot bigger than them). The pair of Goliaths were having to stoop slightly so as to avoid head-butting the ceiling, which actually even looked a little scared itself. They were a terrifying sight. Even scarier than a school trip to a Weight-Watcher’s nudist
camp.
There was a long, pregnant silence in the room like this:
Bill and Ben
This eventually gave birth to an even longer post-natal silence, which, in the interest of preserving the rain forests or the battery on your Kindle, I shan’t demonstrate.
The four grown-ups eyed each other nervously. Bill and Ben looked at the Mackenzies like they were looking at insects that could be squashed into pulpy insect juice any time they so desired. The Mackenzies looked at Bill and Ben like they were looking at two giant skinhead Neanderthal bully boys who had just appeared from nowhere in their recently and unexpectedly decorated council flat. Johnny looked a little scared. Finally Billy Mackenzie managed to get his mouth working a little and spluttered: ‘Who are you?’ And then: ‘What do you want?’ There was another long silence – let’s call it a pause – while Bill and Ben looked at each other as if trying to decide who was going to answer. Finally Bill spoke: ‘You the boy’s parents?’ he demanded in a voice that sounded like an angry rhino with horn-ache. Although if he was clever enough he would have realised that this was a rhetorical question. There was yet another long silence (you’ll be relieved to hear that this is the last silence you’re going to get in this chapter) before Billy Mackenzie mumbled ‘Yes’.
‘We’re Johnny’s bodyguards,’ continued Bill. ‘We’re here to make sure that everything’s hunky dory.’
‘Hunky dory?’ Mrs. Mackenzie suddenly found her voice. ‘What do you mean ‘hunky dory”?’
Now Ben spoke: ‘What my brother means to say,’ he explained. ‘Is that we’ve been – how shall I say – contracted – to make sure that this young feller’s affairs are in order.’
‘Get out of my house!’ interrupted Mrs. Mackenzie, suddenly feeling a little braver, although she had no idea why.
Bill and Ben looked at each again for a moment. They did this almost as much as your mum looks in the mirror. Or you dad looks at websites that he shouldn’t be looking at. ‘First of all,’ said Bill, ‘This isn’t a house – it’s a flat.’
‘And second of all,’ said his brother. ‘We ain’t going nowhere. And neither are you.’
‘Johnny who are these men?’ Mrs. MacKenzie asked her son, ignoring the two giants.
‘I’m sorry mum but…’ Johnny started to speak but Bill cut in like a pair of scissors that chops sentences into bits.
‘…What the young feller means to say is that the fun’s over.’
‘The fun’s over?’ repeated Felicity MacKenzie numbly.
‘That’s right,’ continued Ben. ‘You’ve had a right old time. You’ve been spending his money like it’s your own. You’ve been ripping the poor young feller off. And we’re here to put a stop to it. From now on things are gonna be different.’
‘I’ve had enough of this,’ said Mrs. MacKenzie. ‘Nobody speaks to me like this in my house…’
‘Flat,’ corrected Ben.
‘Nobody speaks to me like this in my flat. Billy, call the police!’
As usual Billy MacKenzie did as he was told. He reached into his pocket for his mobile phone. Before he had the chance to even turn it on the gigantic frame of Bill was towering over him.
‘That an iPhone?’ asked Ben.
‘Erm… Yes,’ said Billy, who could only watch as the huge man took it from him and with one hand crushed it into a chunk of buckled metal and shattered touch screen.
‘I think it’s broken,’ said Ben. ‘You ought to take it back to the Apple store. Tell ‘em that you’re not getting a decent signal.’
‘Right!’ cried Mrs. MacKenzie. ‘We’re leaving! You’ll be very sorry you did that. I’ll fetch the police myself!’
Now the giant frame of Bill was standing in front of her. He was holding something in his hand that looked a little like a child’s toy space gun.
‘Know what this is?’ he asked. Although once again he wasn’t clever enough to recognise that this was a rhetorical question.
Mrs. Mackenzie regarded the object for a moment. Then she shook her head.
Whatever it was she guessed that it was not intended to provide pleasure, happiness or fulfilment. Anything that has a trigger and a barrel and goes ‘bang!’ seldom does.
‘Come on Billy!’ she said. ‘We’re leaving!’
Bill stood in front of her blocking the doorway. ‘Not so fast,’ he said, not so slowly. ‘It’s called a Taser. See this little trigger at the front? If I press this it’ll give you a small electric shock. It won’t hurt you…Well not too much anyway.’
Bill raised the object and gently touched Mrs. MacKenzie on the arm. There was a loudish bang and a flash of blue neon light and Mrs. MacKenzie collapsed groaning to the floor. She was conscious but wasn’t able to move her arms and legs ‘Oh my gawd!’ said Billy Mackenzie bravely charging out of the room in terror.
He got as far as the stairs before there was a second flash. He, too, crumpled to the floor. Bill dragged him back into the bedroom by the scruff of his neck.
Johnny Nothing got to his feet and stood over his two parents. He looked anxious. ‘Are they… Are they… OK?’ he gasped.
‘Don’t you worry yourself,’ smiled Ben. ‘Give em a few minutes and they’ll be right as rain.’
‘But they’ll think twice before they try to run off again,’ said his brother.
AUTHOR BIO
Ian Probert has been scribbling down words ever since he learned to spell the phrase: ‘Once upon a time…’. He is the author of Internet Spy, Rope Burns and a bunch of other titles. Internet Spy was a bestseller in the US and made into a TV film. Rope Burns is a book about why books shouldn’t be written about boxing. Ian has also written things for a shed load of newspapers and magazines. When Ian was a student he used to write lots of letters to the bank manager.
“Great new kids book alert! My two are in hysterics reading Johnny Nothing by Ian Probert (and I am too).” Jane Bruton, Editor of Grazia
“Oh, Wow! Dark, sordid, grotesque and hilarious are only a few words I can conjure up to describe this hilarious book.” Lizzie Baldwin, mylittlebookblog
Johnny Nothing is best-selling author Ian Probert’s first ever children book – although adults are enjoying it too. The story of the poorest boy in the world and the nastiest mother in the universe, the book is earning rave reviews. Children and grown-ups are all laughing at this incredibly funny kids book
To celebrate the paperback launch of Johnny Nothing we are offering a free Kindle copy of the book to the first 100 people who Tweet the following message:
@truth42 I’m reading Johnny Nothing by Ian Probert. http://geni.us/3oR8 #YA
#Kindle #kidsbooks
The first ten readers who answer the following question will also receive a signed print of one of the book’s illustrations.
THIS BLOG claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise noted. Images on this blog are copyright to its respectful owners. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and you do not wish for it to appear on this site, please e-mail me with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed.
Here we are again, at the end of another year! As today is the last day of 2014, it’s time for my annual “Year in Review” post.
As of the writing of this post I’ve finished reading 182 books. 13 of those books were ones I read with my 7 month-old niece, so for argument’s sake let’s say 169. My starting goal was to read 130 books, so I’m counting 2014’s reading challenge as a completed success! That means adding another ten books to next year’s challenge for a total of 140 books! (Here’s to hoping I make it!)
And now the difficult part…picking my top ten reads of 2014!
HAPPY FRIDAY!! Bookish Statues Quote Garden awaits you, please stay a while, smell the flowers, enjoy the oldie-worldly waft of pipe smoke, hear the fluttering of tiny, gossamer wings, and the cheeky croaking of Kermit the frog. But before you leave don’t forget to say “hello” to my resident angel Mae West, even if she confesses, “I’m No Angel.”
SO LET’S BEGIN OUR TOUR WITH THIS
SUSPICIOUS LOOKING LASS
WHO IS PRONE TO SAYING:
“DON’T PINCH MY BOOK OR MY FLOWERS!!!”
I reckon she would approve of the following quote:
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. ~Chinese Proverb
Let’s celebrate books!
Some wonderful quotes about yes, you guessed it, reading!
Books are a uniquely portable magic. ~Stephen King
A good book has no ending. ~R.D. Cumming
It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it. ~Oscar Wilde
A book must be an ice-axe to break the seas frozen inside our soul. ~Franz Kafka
I’ve never known any trouble that an hour’s reading didn’t assuage. ~Charles de Secondat, Baron de la Brède et de Montesquieu, Pensées Diverses
To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations — such is a pleasure beyond compare. ~Kenko Yoshida
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. ~Mark Twain
To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting. ~Edmund Burke
A house without books is like a room without windows. ~Heinrich Mann
The wise man reads both books and life itself. ~Lin Yutang
To read a book for the first time is to make an acquaintance with a new friend; to read it for a second time is to meet an old one. ~Chinese Saying
He who lends a book is an idiot. He who returns the book is more of an idiot. ~Arabic Proverb
To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life. ~W. Somerset Maugham
To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations — such is a pleasure beyond compare. ~Kenko Yoshida
I have a great fondness for Peter Pan. My eldest daughter played him in her primary school play and I still remember that day with fondness and gut-wrenching trepidation! I was more nervous than she was! My youngest played Robin Hood! Guess if you can deduce which of my children tends to be a bit more of a rascal?
So to celebrate staying young here are a few Peter Pan quotes:
“To die would be an awfully big adventure.”
“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”
“To live will be an awfully big adventure.”
“Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning. ”
A little bit of Kermit Wisdom:
It’s not easy being green.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers and dreamers and me.
Time’s fun when you’re having flies.
Here’s some simple advice: Always be Yourself. Never take yourself too seriously. And beware of advice from experts, pigs and members of Parliament.
(How wise, Kermit.)
I’ve got a dream too, but it’s about singing and dancing and making people happy. That’s the kind of dream that get’s better the more people you share it with.
(What a wonderful philosophy!)
Contemplative pipe smoking
Not that I recommend smoking! But some famous authors were fond of a pipe or two:
The first to come to mind is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of Sherlock Holmes.
And of course Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional sleuth too.
I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.”
-Albert Einstein, 1950
“The fact is, Squire, the moment a man takes to a pipe, he becomes a philosopher. It’s the poor man’s friend; it calms the mind, soothes the temper, and makes a man patient under difficulties. It has made more good men, good husbands, kind masters, indulgent fathers, than any other blessed thing on this universal earth.”
-”Sam Slick, The Clockmaker”
“A pipe is the fountain of contemplation, the source of pleasure, the companion of the wise; and the man who smokes, thinks like a philosopher and acts like a Samaritan.”
-Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton
Edward Bulwer-Lytton also coined the well know phrase, “the pen is mightier than the sword,.” as well as the infamous opening line: “it was a dark and stormy night,’ in the 1830 novel Paul Clifford.
Here is the opening line in its entirety:
“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
“A pipe in the mouth makes it clear that there has been no mistake–you are undoubtedly a man.”
-A. A. Milne
So let’s leave the pipe smoking behind for a moment, it really isn’t good for your health, and focus on angels reading in a quiet, secluded spot.
Angels and Mae West!
Wait a minute. You said quiet, and secluded. Mae West doesn’t sound like the retiring type to me. Well the answer lies at the end so please keep on reading!
The reason angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly. ~G.K. Chesterton, “Orthodoxy”
The Angels were all singing out of tune,
And hoarse with having little else to do,
Excepting to wind up the sun and moon
Or curb a runaway young star or two.
~Lord Byron
It is not known precisely where angels dwell — whether in the air, the void, or the planets. It has not been God’s pleasure that we should be informed of their abode. ~Voltaire
Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth
Unseen, both when we wake and when we sleep.
~John Milton, Paradise Lost
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. ~Michelangelo
Here’s the clue Mae West’s quote:
I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit. ~Mae West
THIS BLOG claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise noted. Images on this blog are copyright to its respectful owners. The majority of images on this blog are from http://www.pixabay.com or google/bing search. All images are copyright free images. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and you do not wish for it to appear on this site, please contact me with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed.
I am honoured to have been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award. Thank you author Susanne Leist for nominating me. “Author of the Dead Game – a Paranormal Fantasy, A Vampire Suspense.” She has a lovely blog so I’d recommend you go check it out: http://susanneleist.wordpress.com/
Amazingly I have been nominated for this award three times! So touched.
To accept this award, the nominees have to follow a few rules:
* Thank the person who nominated you for the award. * Add the One Lovely Blog logo to your post. * Share 7 facts/or things about yourself. * Nominate 15 bloggers you admire and inform nominees by commenting on their blog.
7 facts/things about myself:
1) I am a terrible procrastinator. This extends to every possible decision making process in my life. Will I, or will I not, have a baked potato for lunch? Ok, I’m hungry so that crept into this 7 things about me. Getting published, what a minefield for a confirmed procrastinator. There are too many ways: unsolicited, agents, self-publishing, ugh. Can’t we just simplify this? Just read my book and like it, job done!
2.I love the arts, films, and theatre. Secretly I think I would like to be an extra in a block-buster film or even have a tiny part!
3. I am kind but I also have a bit of a cheeky, wicked side. I’m a good witch! Black cats seem to be attracted to me!
4. I love Chinese food, and anything spicy. I’ll fight for that last dim sum, or curry puff! So, dive in!
5.Books excite me. Writing excites me. Talking about Books excites me. Talking about Writing excites me!
6. I tend to make friends with people from a variety of cultures. Currently I have a Polish, Hungarian, Turkish, French, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, as well as English and Scottish friends too! And that’s just in Cambridge. I’ve “chatted” to so many people from different countries whilst blogging. Love this cultural mix of bloggers.
7. My nose goes red and my eyes go funny looking if I’m stressed. Well, this is what my youngest told me! No hiding it. I guess. Also I tend to talk less, while some people can’t shut up when they’re under pressure. Sorry, mum! At least I don’t twitch or tremble that would be even more embarrassing.
My nominees:
Just fifteen nominees how will I manage that? There are so many wonderful blogs out there. I’m bound to leave out someone. Yikes. To keep it simple I’m concentrating on review/writing sites, art, health, and inspiring blogs.
Here goes:
These are all so wonderful just love them all.
Heena Rathore. P: “I’m a 23 year old curious soul. I live in Pune, Maharashtra, India.” “Besides reading I love writing, singing, baking, watching random movies, cartoons, sleeping, etc. I love dancing more than anything and my dream to learn all forms of dance.” http://thereadingbud.com/
Christy Birmingham: “This site is a haven for you to gain insights through poetry about love, connection, endurance, inspiration, health and more. You are welcome to the poetry table and we also serve up flash fiction, short stories and book-related posts.” Freelance writer and author based in B.C. Canada. The name of her site is just about as perfectly poetic as you can get: http://poeticparfait.com/
Jade St Clair:“My name is Jade St Clair and I am an unashamed Scatterbooker. I live in Melbourne with my geeky boyfriend and our crazy black and white cat called Zeus and I am currently at uni studying internet communications.” http://scatterbooker.wordpress.com/
Val Boyko: “Life is a series of highs and lows. Be grateful for the highs. Be graceful in the lows. Enjoy life fully and find contentment in your Middle Ground.” http://findyourmiddleground.com
Ali Isaac: Just started following Ali. Her blog looks awesome. “I write for many reasons… to tell a story, of course. Every writer has their own story to tell. I write to challenge my reader’s perceptions, because sometimes, things are not at all how they appear. I write to educate, because my life has taught me things no one else knows, and its my duty to share. I write for sheer pleasure, but mostly, I write to be read.” http://aliisaacstoryteller.com/
Deneé: This young lady is a Goodreads Librarian no less! How do you even reach those giddy heights? This is her introduction to her blog: “Hello! My name is Deneé, I’m 25, an Interior Design graduate, and I blog about writing, authors and books.” http://novelreveries.com/
Sherri S. Bessi: A treasure of a site to celebrate how precious life is. “These letters are written to remind you just how much you matter, just how important you are, and just how beautiful the gift of life as a human is.” http://theothersideofugly.com/.
Stephanie: “I have great plans to write an amazing book. Unfortunately, when it comes down to actually doing it, I totally lack inspiration (not to mention the hundred other things that need to be done get it published). So, instead, I read. I read a lot. I read YA, Romance, Mystery, Crime, Historical Fiction, Christian Fiction. Almost everything – the good, the bad, and the in between.” http://stephaniesbookreviews.wordpress.com/
Nicholas Rossis: Great blog full of advice for would be authors. Here’s a short snippet of Nicholas’s About page: “I was born in 1970 in Athens, Greece. I love books and write fantasy, children’s books and science fiction http://nicholasrossis.me/”
Sig Nordal Jr: “Be the best you can be.” Great advice! Inspiring photos, quotes and much more. He has so many amazing photos of libraries on his blog! http://sigurdurnordal.me/
Claire McAlpine: ” I love words, language, sentences, metaphors, stories long and short, poetry, reading and writing. Reading is a journey, a meeting place, something to enjoy in solitude and to share with friends.” https://clairemca.wordpress.com/my-writing/
Sally Georgina Cronin: “Health, music and words for a great life.” “I am one of those people who has led an eclectic life. My father was in the Royal Navy so we lived abroad several times and I only really settled down in the UK at age 14. My education suffered a little from switching between seven schools in different countries but I now have a repertoire of swear words second to none!” http://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/
Naomi Frisby: “I review books written by women – old and new, literary and commercial, fiction and non-fiction with the occasional YA title.” http://thewritesofwoman.wordpress.com/
Esther Newton: “My love affair with writing came about as a result of an accident, when I could no longer carry out my job working in a bank. That accident was the best thing that’s happened to me!https://esthernewtonblog.wordpress.com/
This post was inspired by the Writers’ Digest blog column 7 things I’ve learnt so far and written as a guest post for Fabulosity Reads. The column features various authors, who list 7 things they have learnt so far, regarding writing, editing, inspiration, promotion and marketing. Here are some of my favorite ones, along with my notes!
read out your dialogue
Dialogue can be such a challenge. Do it realistically, and everyone will be bored to tears:
“- Hi!
– Hey!
-‘What are you doing?
– Erm, nothing much… Just… Give me a moment to finish up what I was typing… Yes, that’s it. Sorry, you were saying?”
When I started writing, my dialogues just didn’t sound … human. They seemed out of place, vague and monotonous; every person sharing the same voice. Browne & King’s Self-editing for Fiction Writing gave me a handy tip: read out loud your dialogues and see how…
It’s tough to have to choose one, and all the books below have been excellent reads, but the one standout for me was Prayers for the Stolen, because I haven’t stopped thinking about it all year, it’s always top of mind when anyone asks me about a good book I’ve read recently, just as I still recommend Caroline Smailes The Drowning of Arthur Braxton from 2013 and Eowyn Ivey’s The Snow Child from 2012, all outstanding reads.
The Stats
This year I read 57 books, basically one book a week, 79% of my reads were fiction, 16% non-fiction and 5% poetry. I managed to read books by authors from 18 different countries and this year 40% of what I read was translated from another language. 54% of the books I read were printed books and 46% I read on a kindle. 63% were written by a female author.
On a brisk autumn day in 1686, eighteen-year-old Nella Oortman arrives in Amsterdam to begin a new life as the wife of illustrious merchant trader Johannes Brandt. But her new home, while splendorous, is not welcoming. Johannes is kind yet distant, always locked in his study or at his warehouse office-leaving Nella alone with his sister, the sharp-tongued and forbidding Marin.
But Nella’s world changes when Johannes presents her with an extraordinary wedding gift: a cabinet-sized replica of their home. To furnish her gift, Nella engages the services of a miniaturist-an elusive and enigmatic artist whose tiny creations mirror their real-life counterparts in eerie and unexpected ways . . .
Johannes’ gift helps Nella to pierce the closed world of the Brandt household. But as she uncovers its unusual secrets, she begins to understand-and fear-the escalating dangers that await them all. In this repressively pious society where gold is worshipped second only to God, to be different is a threat to the moral fabric of society, and not even a man as rich as Johannes is safe. Only one person seems to see the fate that awaits them. Is the miniaturist the key to their salvation . . . or the architect of their destruction?
Enchanting, beautiful, and exquisitely suspenseful, The Miniaturist is a magnificent story of love and obsession, betrayal and retribution, appearance and truth.
My review:
The Miniaturist is a historical novel with elements of magical realism, set in Amsterdam in 1686. I was lucky to receive a copy of this beautiful book from my daughter for Christmas. What a delight. There is so much hype about this novel. Did it meet my expectations? Read on and find out!
Voice.
Now I truly understand what is meant by the term voice, the words of this novel just flow effortlessly, willing you to read more. The novel recants the unique story of Petronella (Nella) Oortman. Petronella moves from the country at the tender age of eighteen into an arranged marriage. Nella finds her new sister in-law, Marin, cold, unwelcoming and resentful of Nella’s intrusion into their lives. Marin does everything she can to makes it clear that she is the woman of the house, and not this awkward country girl.
Nella’s new home is her husband’s Johannes richly furnished home in Amsterdam. Johannes is much older, a well respected, wealthy merchant. Johannes may be considered quite a catch, but is he? Nella waits anxiously for the wedding night that never comes. Johannes is always working, or busy, but is he avoiding her? Johanne’s wedding present resembles an elaborate but exceedingly expensive doll’s house, a replica of their house. At first Nella is resentful of this wedding present, this miniature house seems to mock her youthfulness. It is a “monument to her powerlessness, her arrested womanhood.” It is no substitute for warmth or love that is sorely lacking in her marriage. Johannes happily gives Nella money to spend on the miniature house hoping that this will occupy his new bride, so that he can ignore her. Nella feels lost and lonely in this large house, with these unfamiliar servants, impudent Cornelia, the unfriendly maid, and former slave Otto. Johannes seems to care more for his dog Rezeki than he does for his wife. Even Nella’s much loved parakeet, Peebo, is banished out of her cosy bedroom and stored in the kitchen.
This is no fun filled household. The Calvinist burgomasters dictate that Amsterdammers eat their sugar in secret, and must not own dolls or any other replicas of the human form. Though Nella is aware of this, she chooses a tiny act of rebellion, she searches out and discovers a skilled miniaturist, and begins to furnish her miniature house.
At this point in the novel an undercurrent of delicious creepiness makes its way into the novel. Puzzles abound. The miniaturist starts to send her gifts that Nella hasn’t commissioned. A tiny lute for her cabinet that has working strings. How did the miniaturist know that she longed to played her lute? It seems that the miniaturist understands so much about her and the Brandt household. But, how is this possible? Nella starts to receive gifts from the miniaturist that seem to predict events that happen to the characters living in the house, and as the story progresses this extends in breadth to characters living outside the house. So, layer upon layer, this tale of hidden secrets cloaked by an air of respectability, cannot be contained within the walls of either the real house, or the replica. These long hidden secrets are exposed with terrible consequences. The church controls and dictates the morals of it’s flock in TheMiniaturist and those that do not adhere to these morals are made to suffer, and boy do they suffer.
Nella turns out to be quite the heroine, not just the somewhat weak willed female she appears to be at the beginning of the novel. She grows into being an admirable woman. Her relationship with Johannes seems to go through a startlingly swift change, and her ability to forgive and accept grows with her maturity of outlook, given his tragic fall in circumstances.
Jessie Burton, what a spell-binding voice! It is as if the Miniaturist herself is speaking, reaching out to tell the story through the medium of a youthful girl who grows into adulthood as the novel progresses. It is a tale of forgiveness, friendship, love, greed, and betrayal. The novel speaks of the plight of woman at that time, their lack of freedom, and choices. Marriage was the ultimate goal, the only means to advance oneself as a woman. Even if that meant the possibility of a painful and miserable death whilst child-bearing. The character of Marin represents the desire for independence, a single woman standing fast against committing herself to marriage, yet even she can’t quite achieve what she hopes for. She still requires the protection of her brother instead of a husband, so, her supposed freedom is a sham too.
I do have a couple of points of contention. Why oh Why did Jessie Burton lose the thread of the miniaturist in this wonderful novel? This is a bit of a disappointment. So much more could have been discovered about this mysterious character. So many questions were left unanswered. The eeriness of the novel was somewhat lost (this attracted me so much and left me longing for more) and was replaced by events that were compelling, but lacked the rich story-telling direction of the miniaturist. Yet it was inevitable, because in the end we must be the storytellers of our own lives. I get the message.
Some of the revelations towards the end of the novel felt a little forced, and could have been developed more, in particular Otto’s secret love affair. The return of Otto appears a little rushed to me, almost a distraction from poor Johannes’s fate. Let’s have time to get over what happened to Johannes!
The final message of the novel appears to me to be: hope prevails in the wake of great loss, and we must live our lives, and not have our lives dictated for us.
The Miniaturist is a confident, wonderful debut novel. One I may return to for a second read.
Favourite quotes:
“Every woman is the architect of her own fortune.”
“The surface of Amsterdam thrives on these mutual acts of surveillance, the neighborly smothering of a person’s spirit.”
“Pity, unlike hate, can be boxed and put away.”
“Amsterdam: Where the pendulum swings from God to a guilder.”
“The Seigneur’s spirit belongs with the seas,” Otto says. “And mine does not, Madame.”
Highly recommended for readers of Historical Fiction, and Magical Realism.
My rating:
4 stars. It would have been a solid 5 if the miniaturist had stayed centre page for a little longer. C’est dommage!
DISCLAIMER: “As of 13th September 2017 we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”
My opinions are my own and any reviews on this site have not been swayed or altered in any way by monetary compensation, or by the offer of a free book in exchange for a review.
I know that everyone says that we should pay for cover artists and editors, and if we can afford it, I really think that we should. However, that probably makes us hybrid authors – who knows? So, in the spirit of the Absolute Indie, slaving away in a garret with a shortage of funds, we should know how to make a decent cover ourselves. Most people have either an iPhone or an Android these days. These phones take amazing pictures, and have all sorts of features from sepia effects to zoom and macro capabilities. No, no. Come out from under the desk my technophobic scribblers. It’s not that hard, and even pics taken with really old dinosaur phones can be manipulated into really cool covers. Let me show you the basics.
I’m going to be using one of my favourite programmes for this because it’s very easy to use. So…
Reblogged from My Husband Cooks. One of my favourites bread pudding. Yum. This one is Chocolate Chip Bread pudding with the added bonus of great flavour variations too.
Yes, it was only a matter of time until my husband concocted the perfect homemade recipe for bread pudding. He loves bread pudding. Even if he’s filled to the brim with food at a restaurant and groaning in his chair, if bread pudding is on the dessert menu he manages to find still more room in his hollow leg. Yes, I’ve no doubt that the extra consumption of puddin’ is probably equally parts pleasure and discomfort. “Ah, bread pudding, eating you is such exquisite torture.”
Me? I like bread pudding very much. But I’m an equal opportunity dessert eater. The fabulous thing about making bread pudding at home, though, is:
1) You use up all that stale bread in a manner other than french toast. (Yet another breakfast favorite of hubby’s.)
2) It takes about an hour to cook, giving you time to loosen your belt after…
M J Mallon YA Author and Poet 