Here’s my daft poem in response to Carrot Ranch’s prompt about aging…
AGE – One Letter Short of A Four Letter Word
AGE IS ONE LETTER SHORT OF A
FOUR LETTER WORD!
Desire’s three syllables entwined in kinky Karma Sutra positions,
Movement’ssix hundred plus muscles belly aching to stop,
Career crises simplified, await twin oldies bus pass, plus pensions,
Adolescent giggles groan as multiple false teeth fracture,
Luscious locks lost greying in gazillions.
Six pack? Remember that? Welcome new look naughty pot belly,
Two elastic boobs yonder yoga style yodeling the floor,
Face it fellows, we’re on
Until… endless sleep of blessed youth,
SLEEP TO US ALL!!!
Carrot Ranch’s May 9, 2019, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about growing older. It can be humorous, dark or poignant. It can be true or total fiction. It can be fine wine or an old fossil. Go where the prompt leads!
Unique Selling Point: Unique, Imaginative, ‘Charming, enchanting and richly layered this is purely delightful.’
“This delightful book will appeal to teens and young adults who love stories filled with magical crystals, dark family curses, and mysteries waiting to be solved around every corner. Each chapter leads you on a journey of discovery where Amelina earns the right to use three wizard stones to reset the balance of time and finally break the curse that holds her family hostage. A captivating tale!” – Colleen M. Chesebro (Editor)
Brian’s wonderful post has a multitude of one liners which I have highlighted below in bold. These ones particularly made me laugh:
You wake up in the morning and you aren’t really sure who you are.
Tick. Sometimes I wake up and have this uncanny feeling that I am my mother…. apparently we looked the split image of each other when I was born. The older I get the more I seem to look like her….. Other times I get dead limbs…. you wake up and your body just isn’t living… your left arm or right arm, or whatever part of your anatomy has died a death. A sort of living nightmare of what it will be like scenario, scary, so in terror you slap that unresponsive limb until it submits. One slap just doesn’t do it so you really hammer at it until it gives in. Sigh…
Things hurt that shouldn’t
My knees creek. If I could oil them I would but sadly that isn’t an option. Oh and cramp, it strikes whenever it fancies. One evening I’d been grocery shopping. I backed my car into the drive and a vicious cramp struck with no warning. Thank goodness I wasn’t driving anywhere far. I jumped out of my car and did a little cramp jig, hopping about, hoping my neighbours wouldn’t spot me!
Your bladder has been secretively removed and replaced with a defective piece of crap made in China.
Yep, so true. I pee all the time, this is annoying especially when I am right in the middle of watching my favourite TV programme. I have to get up and pee. When I’m shopping I need to take a break at regular intervals to pee, etc. Then my daughter says: “You have to go again? You’ve just been mum.” Ah, the joys of youth, she just doesn’t have a clue what it is like to need the loo. Really need it. Sadly one day she will know….
Coffee = A Will to Live.
No. 4 on Brian’s list ain’t me! I’m still a youngster!!!
Okay that’s a bit of a joke but I can function without coffee in the morning… Nevertheless Brian’s words sum it up for so many: “For someone my age? The coffee stops me from taking your life when you ask an otherwise innocent question about how my day is going. Not kidding.”
Brian’s brilliant one-liner about coffee brought me back to a particular experience many years ago. My brother had travelled down from the rugged shores of Scotland, from the capital city Edinburgh, no less, to visit me in Cambridge. Everything went so well to begin with but ……the very next morning disaster struck. He greeted me looking a bit dishevelled and started riffling in my cupboards. His horrified expression suggested that he was getting more and more distressed. In a terrified howl he uttered the words he hoped he would never have to say: “Where is the ****ing coffee?” I can’t remember his exact words so I might be doing him a disservice here but an expletive or two might be in order to convey his sense of total utter outrage.
There was no coffee. Not a grain. Nada.
My heart sunk. I knew in that moment that the last grains had been mercilessly boiled, and drank the previous evening. What a terrible sister! As an avid morning tea drinker I had forgotten all about the coffee that my brother craved to kick start his day. His messy hair seemed to stand up in spikes of rising accusation. His face turned grey . He looked as if he wanted to take the word coffee and slice the ending off (coff…. ee,) to replace it with coffin. Mine. He began pacing to and fro, and then in one swift movement, he grabbed a cigarette, and made for the door. He tried to open this exit way barring his escape but it was locked. Oops. His turned back to me, eyes wild with fury. I rushed to get the key. I opened it. He slammed the door behind him. But if looks could kill I’d be dead. Past tense. Finito.
Shortly after he returned, caressing his precious coffee jar. He put the kettle on to boil. He poured that first exquisite cup, that elixir, he drank it, replenishing his soul.
I had been spared!
But my stress levels had hit the roof! I needed a calming herbal tea to recover.
Hope you liked my one-liner Wednesday!
I’m sure Brian and many of you morning coffee drinkers will identify with the sheer horror of such a disastrous moment!
If you’d like to join in with this regular Wednesday blog event here’s the link to Linda’s blog:
This might seem like a strange #BeWow post but my point is this: if you can take an unfortunate experience and turn it into a lesson then I do believe it can be a wonderful thing to do. I have never forgotten this experience. It is now indelibly stored in my memory in large exclamation marks…. !!!!
We all learn from our mistakes! We all make them, nobody’s perfect. We’re all on the same path, some young, some a little older than others but we are all walking our way towards the twilight of our lives. So let’s support each other. Laugh at the ups and downs and whatever you do next time you have a family member visiting make sure you don’t neglect them like I did. Little things can make their visit wonderful. Whatever you do don’t forget to have a full jar of coffee, a glass of their favourite wine or whatever creature comforts they crave. These little treasures really can be a lifeline to make them feel at home.
Here are three wonderful quotes about the undisputed joys of coffee:
For Writer’s Quote Wednesday I want to highlight a book that I am currently reading, The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson to celebrate staying young at heart, and getting up to mischief for as long as humanely p0sssible!
Here’s the synopsis on Goodreads:
It all starts on the one-hundredth birthday of Allan Karlsson. Sitting quietly in his room in an old people’s home, he is waiting for the party he-never-wanted-anyway to begin. The Mayor is going to be there. The press is going to be there. But, as it turns out, Allan is not… Slowly but surely Allan climbs out of his bedroom window, into the flowerbed (in his slippers) and makes his getaway. And so begins his picaresque and unlikely journey involving criminals, several murders, a suitcase full of cash, and incompetent police. As his escapades unfold, we learn something of Allan’s earlier life in which – remarkably – he helped to make the atom bomb, became friends with American presidents, Russian tyrants, and Chinese leaders, and was a participant behind the scenes in many key events of the twentieth century. Already a huge bestseller across Europe, The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared is a fun and feel-good book for all ages.
The main protagonist is a one hundred year old man, a downright ridiculously sprightly scoundrel.
Here are a few quotes to tempt you to read this novel, unless you already have! Do comment below I’d love to hear your opinion..
“Allan looked at the bus and then at the suitcase, then again at the bus and then again at the suitcase. It has wheels, he said to himself. And there’s a strap to pull it by too. And then Allan surprised himself by making what – you have to admit – was decision to say ‘yes’ to life.”
“When life has gone into overtime it’s easy to take liberties.”
The humour just keeps on coming, and coming even when the main protagonist Allan considers death:
“Imagine that, death was just like being asleep. Would he have time to think before it was all over? And would he have time to think that he had thought it? But wait, how much do you have to think before you have finished thinking?”
So with the sentiments of this book in mind here’s a little quote I’ve written myself:
With each day we get a little older but our minds mock our creaking limbs by remaining youthful, that is the wicked truth of life, and there is no escaping it.
So, like the sea, my constant friend, drift with the tide of life, exalt in the highs and prepare for the lows, but remain in your heart forever young, a humorous scoundrel longing for your next adventure.
To end my Writer’s Quote Wednesday I’m finishing off with these superb quotes that sum it up for me:
“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.”
― Salvador Dalí
I have been tagged by Janice who blogs at On the land to participate in the ‘3 Days, 3 Quotes Challenge’. Many thanks to Janice for inviting me to participate in this fun challenge. Janice blogs about our world and how important it is to care and nourish it: Caring About Our World; Reflecting About Life. She hopes to encourage us to move towards a cleaner, more sustainable future and away from the worst consequences of climate change.
Ronovan’s BeWoW, in which he suggests we consider what brings cheer to our lives, his prompt is ” A Cheer Full Life, ” and he quotes Thomas Carlyle, so do take a look at his blog and see this wonderfully inspiring quote. What cheers me up is staying as young at heart for as long as possible, so that’s my BeWoW suggestion, whatever you do don’t turn into a grumpy old misery guts! Resist it! Do whatever it takes to keep yourself fit, happy and healthy. Be Wonderful This Wednesday, and Thursday, and Friday, keep it up for as long as you can! https://ronovanwrites.wordpress.com/2015/10/20/bewow-writers-quote-wednesday-is-tomorrow/
so with all these challenges I had to come up with something new so what better way than to have a go at writing my own quote? So with autumn in mind I came up with us, words only:
I am in the autumn of my life, winter is still to come. In my final season I will resist approaching age. The shell of my body will crumple, but I will continue to live with a full heart. Wrinkles will be a snapshot of life’s colourful memories forever imprinted in the crisp reds, yellows and golds of the leaves of time.
Marje @ Kyrosmagica.
My autumnal quote on the theme of getting older has been inspired by the following Mark Twain quote:
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
What a gem!
Mark Twain’s quote sums up how I feel. We should try to respond to the aging process by fighting against getting older, embracing each day with a happy heart and don’t spend too much time worrying, just be thankful that you are living, loving, and breathing in the beauty of each new day in this wonderful world that we live in. Not everyone is as fortunate, so enjoy those birthdays, even if they seem to be coming faster than they used to !! One day I hope to be one of those grannies who still thinks that everyone fancies her, who stands up on the swings, and lives life to the full. Yes I’m going to be an embarrassingly cheerful, unstoppable Grannie!!!
I hope so anyway…… Just like my mother in law, she’s always been full of life and I do admire that about her. She’s 89, and still going strong. Oh, and my Great Grandfather was still walking miles at the ripe old age of 90, and flirting with the ladies, and my dad is still pretty fit and he is in his eighties! So I’m modelling my future on these inspiring elderly characters. I have plans to be a glamorous Grannie! Just not anytime soon….
My nomineesto take part in the 3 day 3 quote Challenge, if they would like to are:
Here’s the book beginning from Elizabeth is Missing :
“You know that there was an old woman mugged around here?” Carla says, letting her long black ponytail snake over one shoulder. “Well, actually, it was Weymouth, but it could have been here. So you see, you can’t be too careful.” They found her with half her face smashed in.”
THE FRIDAY 56 MEME
This is a weekly meme hosted by Freda at Freda’s Voice, click on the link to her blog, and the rules are pretty simple:
Grab a book, any book.
Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader
(If you have to improvise, that’s OK.)
Find any sentence, (or few, just don’t spoil it).
Add the url to your post on Freda’s Voice.
Here’s a few riveting sentences from page 56 of Elizabeth is Missing:
“I heard the screaming,” the woman said. “Sorry about my aunt, she’s got a dread of the unrespectable.” But, look, it’s not what you think. It can’t have been Frank that your sister was afraid of.”
Read of Shelve?
Most definitely read. Have read about a third of Elizabeth is Missing and it seems really good. A very confident debut novel.
In this darkly riveting debut novel—a sophisticated psychological mystery that is also a heartbreakingly honest meditation on memory, identity, and aging—an elderly woman descending into dementia embarks on a desperate quest to find the best friend she believes has disappeared, and her search for the truth will go back decades and have shattering consequences.
Maud, an aging grandmother, is slowly losing her memory—and her grip on everyday life. Yet she refuses to forget her best friend Elizabeth, whom she is convinced is missing and in terrible danger.
But no one will listen to Maud—not her frustrated daughter, Helen, not her caretakers, not the police, and especially not Elizabeth’s mercurial son, Peter. Armed with handwritten notes she leaves for herself and an overwhelming feeling that Elizabeth needs her help, Maud resolves to discover the truth and save her beloved friend.
This singular obsession forms a cornerstone of Maud’s rapidly dissolving present. But the clues she discovers seem only to lead her deeper into her past, to another unsolved disappearance: her sister, Sukey, who vanished shortly after World War II.
As vivid memories of a tragedy that occurred more fifty years ago come flooding back, Maud discovers new momentum in her search for her friend. Could the mystery of Sukey’s disappearance hold the key to finding Elizabeth?