I am a debut author who has been blogging for three years at my lovely blog home Kyrosmagica: https://mjmallon.com. My interests include writing, photography, poetry, and alternative therapies. I write Fantasy YA, middle grade fiction and micro poetry – haiku and tanka. I love to read and have written over 100 reviews: https://mjmallon.com/2015/09/28/a-z-of-my-book-reviews/
My alter ego is MJ – Mary Jane from Spiderman. I love superheroes! I was born on the 17th of November in Lion City: Singapore, (a passionate Scorpio, with the Chinese Zodiac sign a lucky rabbit,) second child and only daughter to my proud parents Paula and Ronald. I grew up in a mountainous court in the Peak District in Hong Kong with my elder brother Donald. My parents dragged me away from my exotic childhood and my much loved dog Topsy to the frozen wastelands of Scotland. In bonnie Edinburgh I mastered Scottish country dancing, and a whole new Och Aye lingo.
As a teenager I travelled to many far-flung destinations to visit my abacus wielding wayfarer dad. It’s rumoured that I now live in the Venice of Cambridge, with my six foot hunk of a Rock God husband, and my two enchanted daughters. After such an upbringing my author’s mind has taken total leave of its senses! When I’m not writing, I eat exotic delicacies while belly dancing, or surf to the far reaches of the moon. To chill out, I practise Tai Chi. If the mood takes me I snorkel with mermaids, or sign up for idyllic holidays with the Chinese Unicorn, whose magnificent voice sings like a thousand wind chimes.
Books by M J Mallon:
The Curse of Time – Book 1 – Bloodstone
Fifteen-year-old Amelina Scott lives in Cambridge with her dysfunctional family, a mysterious black cat, and an unusual girl who’s imprisoned within the mirrors located in her house. When an unexpected message arrives inviting her to visit the Crystal Cottage, she sets off on a forbidden pathway where she encounters Ryder, a charismatic, but perplexing stranger.
With the help of a magical paint set, and some crystal wizard stones she discovers the truth about a shocking curse that has destroyed her family’s happiness.
Title: The Curse of Time Book 1 – Bloodstone
Kindle Publication date: 27th August 2017
Genre: YA/Paranormal Fantasy
Buy Book: myBook.to/TheCurseofTime
Intended Paperback Release date – April 2018
Genre: YA/Paranormal Fantasy
Book Design: https://wendyannedarling.wordpress.com/
Photography Credit: Dr John C Taylor, OBE: http://www.johnctaylor.com/
Illustration: Paperback includes additional material – two black and white illustrations by Artist – Carolina Russo: https://yesterdayafter.com/
Edited by Colleen Chesebro: https://colleenchesebro.com
Buy Book: Link Coming Soon!
Social Media Links
Authors Website: https://mjmallon.com
Collaborative Blog: https://sistersofthefey.wordpress.com
Twitter: @Marjorie_Mallon and @curseof_time
#ABRSC: Authors Bloggers Rainbow Support Club on Facebook
The Sisters of The Fey are: Colleen Chesebro, Debby Gies, (D G Kaye,) Annette Rochelle Aben, Adele Marie Park, Belinda Miller, Wendy Anne Darling, Tina Frisco and of course myself.
Samantha Murdoch kindly allowed me to use the following images in my publicity and on the spine of my paperback, (The Bloodstone.)
and images of her cat Lily (who is very like the black cat Shadow in my book.):
Carolina Russo has created two wonderful portraits of my characters which feature in my paperback due for release in April. Below is the full colour version, the paperback images are in black and white.
These images of Esme and The Creature are Copyright ©Carolina Russo: https://yesterdayafter.com/
Fun facts about Marje:
1. I wish I could be wonder woman or MJ from Spiderman
2. I adore crystals, alternative therapies, the unusual and the strange. I’m a qualified Aromatherapist, Reflexologist, (I no longer work as a therapist instead I devote my spare time to reading, writing, blogging and reviewing.)
3. Some say that I am a white witch…my blogging friends confer and have included me in the Sisters of The Fey, a writerly collaboration.
4. My husband can’t remember asking me to marry him and neither can I. He suspects I cast a spell on him!
5. I have travelled to many foreign destinations, including: Papua New Guinea, Fiji, the Caribbean, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Rome, Venice, France, Germany, Spain, Belgium and Portugal. I would love the funds to travel some more!
6. I currently work as a receptionist in a massive building, home to twenty companies. In quiet moments I observe peoples’ mannerisms, listen to snippets of gossip and dream up new story ideas.
7. I love food! Asian food and anything spicy, yum…My mother is Malaysian and my father is Scottish so I grew up with a very varied diet.
8. My motto is to do what you love! Stay true to your heart’s desires, remain young at heart, and inspire others to do so, even if the odds are stacked against you like black-hearted shadows.
9. I studied Communication Studies at University, (marketing, media studies, public relations, etc.) My degree is coming in mighty handy now.
10. I love cats but don’t own one (my husband and daughter are allergic,) so I adopted a virtual black cat called Lily who looks like my black cat character Shadow in my book: https://mjmallon.com/2017/05/17/shadow-welcomes-lily-the-cat-to-kyrosmagica/
11. I have so many writing projects and so little time! I am a writing butterfly so this pains me greatly!
12. I am an original! I have been to every single Bloggers Bash until now. http://sachablack.co.uk/annual-bloggers-bash/
13. I have met the inventor of The Corpus Christi Chronopage clock – Dr John C Taylor, OBE who kindly gave me permission to use his images in my book. http://www.johnctaylor.com/the-chronophage/
14. I enjoy interviewing my fictional characters on my blog. Currently you can meet
Winner of Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge no. 7 with my murderous flash – Mr Blamey. https://carrotranch.com/2017/12/19/winner-of-flash-fiction-contest-7/
Today, I have some wonderful news for you, my kindle book is on promotional offer. The kindle countdown deal starts today. So hurry, get the best price reduction today!!!
Here’s a short editorial review from author Colleen Chesebro:
“This delightful book will appeal to teens and young adults who love stories filled with magical crystals, dark family curses, and mysteries waiting to be solved around every corner. Each chapter leads you on a journey of discovery where Amelina earns the right to use three wizard stones to reset the balance of time and finally break the curse that holds her family hostage. A captivating tale!” – Colleen M. Chesebro (Editor)
And my first 5 star review on Amazon!!!!
This special offer is to celebrate my wedding anniversary this week. Hubby and I were married on the 26th of September many moons ago!
Here are some old photos of us in our prime!
A bit blurry I know, but they were taken a long time ago. It was our first skiing holiday together in Verbier, Switzerland. My husband is a keen skiier and is always happiest if he is about to launch himself at full throttle down a ski slope. I’d rather pat a horse! I didn’t have much luck with skiiing, but I am determined, I persevered and went for years. I stopped skiing after I fell off the edge of a pathway and had to be rescued by my ski instructor. But my husband still goes every year and loves it.
I so admire those who ski and participate in adventurous pursuits. I love the majesty and beauty of the mountains and I must confess I find a man in ski gear mighty handsome !
To order your kindle copy of The Curse of Time click the links below to be directed to Amazon. Go on I dare you!!!!
Welcome to my M J Mallon author blog otherwise known as Kyrosmagica.
Today, I am interviewing using the initials MJ – (my author nickname and tribute to my favourite superhero – Spiderman’s Mary Jane.)
I have started doing a series of character interviews. Now it’s your turn Ryder…. Previously, I interviewed my black cat character: Interview with Shadow.
Come out of the shadows, Ryder, and let’s chat about your role in my YA novel The Curse of Time: Book 1 – Bloodstone which I intend to release in August. But, before we begin let’s put out the fire….
MJ: That smoke is troubling me.
Instead of answering Ryder lifts his head and blows smoke in my eyes….
So I resort to another tactic… I ask him about himself.
This week I’m joining in with Sacha Black’s Writespiration. The prompt is the hug you’ve always wanted.
This short edited excerpt to be 200 words is from my current YA WIP, The Curse of Time, which I’m currently editing.
The main character Amelina really could do with a hug… Any offers..?
Cruel Time Had Him Prisoner
Still feeling dizzy a wave of nausea hit me hard. The room spun around like I was on an enforced merry-go-round. I closed my eyes willing the strange spinning to stop. As my eyes opened, a narrow tunnel of faded kaleidoscopic images came to me in a giddy whirl.
First, I saw my dad playing his guitar, with my mum laughing by his side. Then, the day my dad disappeared, followed by the day he returned.
All the moments I’d ever treasured, the mother and father I could laugh with, could hug.
Dad’s homecoming should have been a celebration, but it wasn’t. I’d just turned fifteen. It had been two long years wait, for this – what a joke. A life lived within the clutches of a curse. A tear fell from my eye, and then another and another as I recalled the events of the past. Soon they were spilling, splashing on the canvas – watercolour tears of sadness.
I looked at my painting. For a second, I saw dad’s face on my canvas. His sad expression scratched a raw scar on my vision. Cruel time had him prisoner. His watery old eyes stared back, begging me to help him.
© Marjorie Mallon 2016 – aka, Kyrosmagica. All Rights Reserved.
If you’d like to join in with Sacha’s Writespiration here’s the link: https://sachablack.co.uk/2016/06/29/writespiration-91-the-hug-youve-always-wanted
Hope you liked my short excerpt. Do feel free to comment. Got my sand timer ready… LOL!!!
I don’t look very friendly in my cartoon me, but it’s all lies, I am really a nice gal… Most of the time!! It’s that sand timer – it’s making me anxious… I’ve got so much editing to do to wrangle this monster into submission. Humph, I’ll get there, but it won’t be today.
Time to attack the house with my magic wand…. Tescos with my credit card, and wash down all I have accomplished today with a cup of tea, or perhaps a glass of vino. Later…
Bye for now,
Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx
My fun (totally not serious but nevertheless 90% true,) author bio on Wattpad – Link below.
Marjorie Mallon was born in Lion City: Singapore. She grew up in a mountainous court in Hong Kong. Her crazy parents dragged her spotty soul away from her exotic childhood and her much loved dog Topsy to the frozen wastelands of Scotland. There she mastered Scottish country dancing, haggis bashing, bagpipe playing and a whole new Och Aye lingo. As a teenager she travelled to many far flung destinations to visit her abacus wielding wayfarer dad. On one such occasion a barracuda swam by. It stopped to view her bikini clad body, longing to take a big bite. With dogs' fangs replacing barracudas' teeth, she returned to her mother's birthplace: Kuching, Cat City. There, Blackie, a black-hearted dog sniffed her frightened butt, whimpered and ran away! Shortly after this extraordinary event an angry female Orang-Utan chased her unfit ass out of the Malaysian jungle believing that she was a threat to her babies! She still monkeys about, would love to own a cat, or a replacement Topsy but refuses to entertain murderous dogs, or over-protective monkeys. It's rumoured that she lives in the Venice of Cambridge, with her six foot hunk of a Rock God husband, and her two enchanted daughters. After such an upbringing her author's mind has taken total leave of its senses. When she's not writing, she eats exotic delicacies while belly dancing, or surfs to the far reaches of the moon. To chill out she practises Tai Chi and Yoga on the crest of a wave. If the mood takes her she goes snorkelling with mermaids, or signs up for idyllic holidays with the Chinese Unicorn, whose magnificent voice sings like a thousand wind chimes. She is a child of the light and the dark. Her motto is simply this: Do what you love, stay true to your heart's desires, remain young at heart, and inspire others to do so, even if it appears that the odds are stacked like black hearted shadows against you...
For Colleen and Ronovan’s Writer’s Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge, #WQWWC – I’m sharing two quotes, one about the nature of fantasy, and the other about Time.
I’ve also written a poem, which I’ve called If Only Time.. The poem is inspired by my current WIP: The Curse of Time.
If only Time …….
A shadow blots my landscape,
Blight on my heart.
If only time,
Could drive away sorrow,
Life’s caricature of pain,
Time takes me journeying,
Music fills my heart,
Art enlivens my soul.
At Ten to Three,
Time stands forever still,
Grantchester meadow waits,
Drawing back the veil of Time,
Shutting out the shadowed seconds,
Mighty Krystallos Live.
Two curious invitations,
One beautiful, one not,
Bring me to this cursed moment,
Climb aboard time’s winged creature,
Experience picnic blue skies,
The church bell sings.
The Grasshopper laughs,
A Black cat poses,
The field a painting grows,
The mystery fiddler plays,
A melancholy note lingers,
Capturing a bygone age.
This sublime landscape,
Reveals a fractured puzzle,
Woven in art’s design,
The Golden Grasshopper awaits,
Three joyful, wretched riddles,
Freedom – the precious prize.
Can Amelina halt the shadows?
Time’s merry-go-round of suffering,
The Riddler will decide,
The rollercoaster grinds,
Rips, tears, groans and howls,
In life’s eerie, blissful playground.
If all fails, I’ll surely weep,
Dread buries in my sunken heart,
Sweet treasured home,
Protect the cottage from intruders,
Drive out the minutes of darkness,
Renowned Krystallos Heart.
Mighty Golden Healer Crystal,
Mend the broken path of shadows,
Rid us of Time’s Curse,
Save those captive,
Splinter shatter crystal light,
Treasured Krystallos Soul.
© Marjorie Mallon 2016 – aka, Kyrosmagica. All Rights Reserved.
My Wattpad link is below – at the end of this post – if you’d like to read some of my novel. Do bear in mind that this is a WIP and not the final version .. I’ve been editing my novel….. and it will soon be getting a beta read so I’m getting nearer and nearer to completing it, and readying it for publishing.. EXCITING!!!!!! So do pop over to Wattpad and give me some support. All comments, shares, likes most gratefully received. x
Here’s the link to Colleen’s blog to join in the challenge: WQWWC – Fantasy
The quotes I’m featuring this week are:
Fantasy mirrors desire, imagination reshapes it. Mason Cooley.
Love this quote isn’t it the best?
And the one below is for all us procrastinators – you know who I’m talking about! This quote is the most popular Goodreads quote about Time… I wonder why?….
“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” Marthe Troly-Curtin,
I hope you enjoyed my poem, and the quotes too.
See you soon, bye for now.
If only Time… would stand still!! Wretched …. stealer of our seconds, minutes, and hours..
Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx
Well it’s time for another Blog Battle, if you haven’t come across Rachael Ritchey’s Blog Battles here’s your chance to join in this fun community of writers.
This link will take you to her blog battle page: http://rachaelritchey.com/blogbattle/
The rules are:
Week 22 Theme will be Time
Date to Post: Tuesday, August 11th 2015
- 1000 words max
- fictional tale (or true if you really want)
- PG (no more than PG-13) Content – let’s keep this family friendly!
- Your story must contain the word(s) from the theme and/or be centered around the theme in a way that shows it is clearly related
- Go for the entertainment value!
- Post your story by Tuesday 11:59 PM PST
- Use the hashtag #BlogBattle when tweeting your story, put a link back to your #BlogBattle Short Story in the comments section of this page, and/or include a link to this page in your own blog post (it creates a “ping-back” which will alert me and our friends to your #BlogBattle post)
- Have fun!
Time is such a perfect subject for me, as it is one of the central theme’s in my writing. This particular #BlogBattle is a continuation from the previous #BlogBattle post Eye. If you’d like to read Eye here’s the link: https://kyrosmagica.wordpress.com/2015/08/04/blog-battle-week-21-writing-theme-eye/
It’s an idea for a New Adult novel, I have had to edit some of the content of this to make it more PG friendly! I don’t want to be banned from #BlogBattle but I reckon the final version (if I get round to it!) could be a bit more steamy – any thoughts?
Time’s A Slippery Devil
Such a slippery and transient devil, one minute it’s on your side the next it’s beyond you slipping past your reach, laughing at your precociousness. Ryder had been Time’s master, but no more. Now he was alone, with no one to control. No scratch that. He had a girl, a willing conquest, one solitary soul was his. An easy task lay before him, and what better place to hide than the leafy parkland of the University of Falmer in Brighton? Here he could be a shadow without a name, a person without a recognisable face. No one would remember him unless he wanted them to, he could be as fluid as the breeze in the trees. A nowhere man.
His only current regret was his choice of course, he had fancied himself a philosopher but he saw no benefit in discussing the merits of a grain of sand. The only worthy purpose of a grain of sand was its place within a timepiece, capturing a precious minute so perfectly turning life’s longings upside down. Perhaps studying a touch of poetry and prose would suit him better? He needed to find some new playmates, his current flatmates were a bore. His midnight wanderings had been purposely noisy but had fallen on deaf ears, his distinctive footsteps had cast him as an outsider in his own flat.
His eyes could read the sky, tell the time of day. He smiled, only minutes remained before he had agreed to meet Bethany. He had enjoyed their last encounter. The reminiscence of the feel of her silky skin against his body caused him to smile. She had smelled so meadow fresh, untouched by someone like him. He remembered the moment when she had surrendered, the bitter-sweet light in her eyes drifting to an inky murky black. It had been a fleeting second, one the ordinary eye would have missed but Ryder had flourished in that moment. Thereafter her eyes had lightened turning just a slightly harder, darker shade than they had been before, with a hint of a tiny crystal caught in them for all eternity. The tiny crystal light within his own eyes smarted at the thought. He had upset its crystal sensibilities, as he often did. He cast aside that thought, willing the crystal to be within the palm of his hand, a powerful force to command rather than a controlling force imprisoned within his sight. The crystal reverberated, a sharp dagger of pain pierced his eyes and tiny crystal tears shed a pathway down his sculpted cheekbones.
Blinking back strange tears he walked to the campus shop, his long limbs carrying him there within minutes. The crystal tears abated coming to a jagged halt. Bethany was already waiting. In amongst the throng of students, she seemed overlooked but Ryder found her more striking than she had been before. Her eyes gleamed at him like a cats, she dressed to entice, her short skirt making his eyes linger on the shapeliness of her legs. She carried herself with a new-found confidence and freedom. A dare suggested itself in the curve of her lips, a flicker of danger fluttered in her curved eye lashes, and a gleam of naughtiness escaped from her eyes. A buzz of energy circulated throughout Ryder’s body, making his heart pound with unleashed excitement. He longed to entice her into the privacy of his room, but now was not the time. He sighed. He had more pressing matters to attend to. He would introduce this former bookworm to the delights of his room before long that he was sure of.
The canteen was buzzing with students, lunchtime beckoned and everyone seemed to be eating, chatting and drinking. He gestured towards a table in amongst the throng, it didn’t matter where they sat his privacy would always be assured. He didn’t bother to say hello and neither did she, instead he reached out. This reflexive reaction betrayed his desperate need to touch her. He grasped her hand in his, and turned it over as if he was reading her palm. He planted sweet kisses on it, her eyes flickered and she gasped.
“I see you enjoy my kisses, now that we are more acquainted,” he said breaking the silence.
“I do, it’s almost as if my hand can taste the honey-dew of your lips,” she replied. Ryder saw confusion resting in her eyes, her words had betrayed the veiled privacy of her emotions.
“I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s an ability you will develop but it takes time.”
“Really? You tease me with such wicked promises.”
‘If it’s a tease then it’s a secret one. I’m afraid I can’t reveal my secrets but you will learn your own in your own sweet time.”
“What a delicious thought, I can’t wait.”
“Be patient Bethany, now’s not the time, you must let your power grow slowly, or else ……. in the meantime, I’d like you to make more friends,” Ryder’s eyes darkened, “We need more friends.”
Bethany shivered, “You make it sound so creepy, what do you mean?”
“There are only two of us, see how nobody notices us? Unless we draw attention to ourselves they overlook us, but if we become many, then imagine what we could do.”
A glint of darkness flickered across Bethany’s face, forming a temporary shadow. She shivered again.
Seeing her shivering Ryder pulled her towards him, lifting her off her seat, until she was sitting on his lap.
She smiled, a purring sound escaped from the back of her throat. He stroked her long brown hair.
“It’s fresher’s week, sweet kitten,” he said.
“No it’s not, we’ve already had fresher’s week,” she replied.
“I wasn’t in the mood for it then, but I am now.” His eyes darkened, “So now it’s time for fresher’s week.”
She nodded. “But why?”
“I want to make friends, don’t you?”
© Marjorie Mallon 2015 – aka, Kyrosmagica. All Rights Reserved.
I hope you enjoyed my entry for this weeks #Blog Battle. Do leave a comment I’d love to hear your opinion on my latest piece of writing for the #Blog Battle.
Thank you for stopping by.
Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx
I like the combination of these two challenge words.
Pitch could be lots of things, pitching a tent, perfect pitch of voice, a pitcher of juice, a football pitch, and time’s such a fine word to conjure up all sorts of mysterious ideas.
Here’s my funny one:
A thief’s fun day out
Perfect pitch Sunday car boot
Time to weigh the loot
Here’s my serious one:
Her perfect pitch of voice
Gone, cancer robbed, deleted
Time’s sweet song silent
© Marjorie Mallon 2015 – aka, Kyrosmagica.
Words good or bad, are my very own!
This weeks Haiku Prompt challenge from Ronovan Writes really appeals to me as I have a bit of a fascination with time. Time always seems a thoughtful, contemplative topic to me so both of my haikus are more serious in nature. The first haiku ends on an a more positive yet sad note with – new life replaces old, as opposed to new life surrenders. It’s amazing where a few lines of haiku can make your mind drift off to! Quite unintentional, but interesting how both of my haikus end.
Below is my photo of the Corpus Christi Clock in Cambridge, a popular tourist attraction. My first haiku is inspired by this weird and wonderful timepiece.
New Life Replaces Old
Clock ticks on gossamer wings
Time runs its cruel rollercoaster ride
New life replaces old
Clock ticks on gossamer wings, time runs its cruel rollercoaster ride.
Time runs its cruel rollercoaster ride, new life replaces old.
Now on to my second haiku:
New Life Surrenders
The parched land crumbles
Time can’t wait for falling rain
New life surrenders
The parched land crumbles, time can’t wait for falling rain.
Time can’t wait for falling rain, new life surrenders.
© Marjorie Mallon 2015 – aka, Kyrosmagica.
Words good or bad, are my very own!
A yellow leaf sitting on a bed of sparkling snow. Sometimes the most beautiful images are just so simple. It’s the Fifth of December who could possibly believe it, where does time go? I’m sure Father Christmas leaps into the year earlier every winter and steals a bit of time so that he can get on with his job. Cheeky fellow!
I decided that on this first Friday in December that I would post some lovely images of winter for you and myself to enjoy. Thought it would be therapeutic! I’m not a winter person, as soon as the clock goes back a tiny switch inside me goes click, and I become lethargic and grumpy, Seasonal Affective Disorder, no doubt. I love warm weather, blue skies, and the seaside. I live in Cambridge, a beautiful University city but the sea is a bit of a car drive away, and it isn’t warm enough, not for me. Maybe one day I’ll live abroad again, somewhere sunny who knows?
With the change in the clocks I turn into a miserable so and so, with each tick of the clock I become more Scrooge-like. This winter I am battling against the hands of time to boot out the Scrooge in me and launch myself into the spirit of Christmas. Christmas is a double celebration in our house as it is also my eldest daughter’s birthday, so I have to be extra enthusiastic! She was born two weeks early nineteen years ago on the 25th of December. An unexpected but very welcome Xmas present. I ended up eating my Christmas dinner in the delivery ward! My youngest was born exactly on her due date. Two sisters with very different personalities, what can I say? Anyway, I’m digressing a bit, so without further ado here are some wonderful winter images to enjoy.
Let’s start off in a playful mode with this fellow who looks just like Kermit and see where he takes us! He suggested reading a book to escape, what a wonderful idea, always one of my favourite things to do. At the moment I’m reading David Mitchell’s The Bone Clocks, so I’m leaping in and out of a multitude of bodies, travelling through centuries of time. Kermit decided to follow suite and leapt out of the confines of his stone body to go out and play in the snow!
After playing in the snow Kermit began to get restless and he remembered some of the wonderful adventures he had experienced while reading. Books take you to incredible places so Kermit wanted to make this journey a really memorable one. An adventure…..
Kermit reckoned that you might like to see an Ice Sculpture? So off we go to…………………….
Just one of many amazing ice sculptures in Lake Louise. Great suggestion Kermit.
We’ve all heard of Cinderella but what about an ice slipper anyone?
A trip to Bryce Canyon?
How about some winter shadows now?
Or spectacular blue skies?
Twinkling lights in a winter cabin?
Amazing Artic skies…………..
A sleigh ride anyone?
Or a trip to Canim falls?
A touch of frost, and a glimpse of the moon?
Some falling snow?
More falling snow!
What about some winter berries?
Don’t forget the snowman, otherwise his nose might get out of joint.
And our chirpy little friend the robin:
A sleepy doggie too:
Rudolph he’s invited.
And of course Father Christmas too:
Whatever you do this Winter holiday, have fun, and don’t be a grumpy Scrooge!
Waiting in queues. Waiting in supermarkets. Waiting in garages. Waiting at the doctors. The list could just go on and on, so I won’t bore you with any more detail. Let’s get to the point – How much of our life do we waste waiting? We spend an amazing amount of time sleeping, a third of our lives, but has anyone documented how much time we spend waiting? It’s not so much the waiting that gets to me, it’s the attitude of certain people who behave as if they own the right to make me wait longer. I’m a patient kind of girl but sometimes it gets to you. You’re waiting in line and the person in front of you decides to empty out their handbag spilling a year’s worth of money off coupons at the checkout. They haven’t bothered to see if they’re valid or not, so the checkout girl has to check each and every coupon. By the time they’ve left, the check out girl and I are in cahoots, talking about their inconsiderate behaviour. Wouldn’t you?
We spend five and a half years doing the housework. (This one really upsets me! I take advice from the fellow below on that one!
Three years doing our washing. Eleven years in front of the tv. Five years on the Net. Seven years suffering from insomnia. 20 weeks on hold. 38,003hrs eating. Six months of our life queuing. Eleven and a half years at work. A year off sick (no wonder!) 160 days on fag breaks. Five months complaining! It’s amazing we have any time left over to relax or enjoy ourselves.
That leads me to the next statistics, which are a bit risqué, so forgive me, here goes, women spend 1 hour and 24 minutes having orgasms (the female orgasm lasts 1.7 seconds) and men a whopping 9 hours 18 secs. (the male orgasm lasts 12.4 seconds.) Sounds like a bit of a disparity there! Let’s hope some of these ladies weren’t faking it! Women take 136 days getting ready for a night out whereas men only devote 46 days to this. Oh and we spend 115 days laughing too!
The statistics are courtesy of the Daily Mirror so if they’re wrong don’t blame me!
Anyway, getting back to me and waiting. It doesn’t just happen to me at the checkout, no it happens in the garage too!
The other day I was waiting in line to check my tyre pressures, I was in a bit of a hurry, and I could see the guy in front was in go slow mode. He just kept staring at his tyres as if he expected the pump to work without any input on his behalf. Then he walked around his car inspecting it. He then took off every dust cap, and walked leisurely over to the machine.
By this time I was beginning to think a child could have done a quicker job.
He popped in his money and … he walked so slowly I was sure that he would never get all the tyres done in the time allotted, miraculously he just managed it and no more. I figured he’d cast a spell on the machine. He finished. I sighed. Great, at long last it was my turn now. No way. He opened his bonnet and started to fiddle with his engine. I knew then it was hopeless, so I turned on my engine, and pulled out. He gave me a look as I left, a sort of aren’t you in a hurry kind of look, or aren’t you impatient, or was it a look of triumph? Either way I left, I gave in. Why am I such a softie? No wonder my tyres need inflating!
When I pump up my tyres I always try to be quick if I happen to see someone waiting. What about you? Do you rush or do you stall? If you take your time, why’s that? Are there other more unusual places you’ve been kept waiting? Tell me all about it in the comment box below.