This week, SALLY CRONIN selected the words:

Eager & Hope

For Hope I chose wish, and eager I decided upon aim. I thought I’d try a new form the Diatelle…

“The Diatelle is a fun, syllable counting form like the etheree with a twist. The syllable structure of the diatelle is as follows: 1/2/3/4/6/8/10/12/10/8/6/4/3/2/1, but unlike an etheree, has a set rhyme pattern of abbcbccaccbcbba. This poetry form may be written on any subject matter and looks best center aligned in a diamond shape.”https://merrildsmith.wordpress.com/2020/07/10/flickering/

I decided just to have fun with this!

The poem is inspired by a sculpture of a deer I saw in Cambridge Botanical Gardens. Sometimes you spot a deer in the gardens but they disappear before you can study them for any time. This fellow is a little different! He’s there for keeps and I wondered if he missed the opportunity to roam! So, the poem below involves a chat between the deer and the sun!


To leave

On this eve

The air whispers

Not you, deer willow weave.

Hey, Sun!  Quit gawping, swell sister

Bright yellow hot botanical drifter

Come over, plant your beams’s rays, aim your balmy kiss

 Before I’m felled by the next twister

Cause me harm and makes me blister

Ain’t you so keen to please!

You up-lifter

I believe

You tease


Do pop over to Colleen’s blog to see the challenge post and join in!

Authors Website: https://mjmallon.com
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YA Fantasy: The Curse of Time Book1 Bloodstone
Poetry, Prose and Photography: Mr. Sagittarius
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17 thoughts on “#TANKA TUESDAY #POETRY CHALLENGE NO. 216 @ColleenChesebro #SYNONYMSONLY #Diatelle

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  1. This was lots of fun! It sounds like March when the sun can definitely be a tease.
    That garden looks like fun, too. I like that little deer.
    We just visited a sculpture garden near Princeton, NJ on the most beautiful spring day last week.

    1. Thanks Merril, glad you enjoyed. I love the garden and go there often. It is near where I work. The deer is a new addition and most welcome! Love sculptures and gardens and the spring brings the better weather which is always good!

  2. I love you made the poem into a conversation between the sun and deer. This was a lot of fun put into the challenging diatelle:)

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