humour – Page 6 – M J Mallon YA Author and Poet

The Spam Monster

This is for all of you have come under the threat of the spam monster. It has been quite a problem recently for several bloggers, our well intentioned comments not appearing on blogs…. So I wrote this little poem with that and Halloween in mind.

The Spam Monster

It’s all hallows eve,

You’ve no time for a pet peeve,

The wretched spam monster making curds,

Of your well thought out words.

He insidiously turns your comments into mush,

Sweeps them all away with a hot-wired brush,

He’s all wires and circuitry,

His gadgetry puts you into purgatory.

But, don’t fret, don’t worry, help is at hand,

The Happiness Engineers Askimet band,

Party together, they’ll help you out.

No need to storm, stamp, and shout!

Stick your perky pumpkin by your computer,

Light it with a ferocious candle to neuter,

That bloody spam monster with his big hooter,

Mr snooty, snotty, snooper.

If you need any help with this problem Hugh has written a great post how to contact the Askimet engineers – here’s the link: Hughs Views And News: What To Do If your Comments Are Ending Up in Spam Folders

Bye for now,

Hope you liked the silly poem!

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Portugal Missing You! #Portugal #Holiday

Missing you Portugal! We stayed at this all inclusive hotel in Porches, the Algarve – Be Live Palmeiras Village. This is the pool area with a slide – there were two pools with bars – where you could wile away the sunny day with a cocktail in hand! I’d highly recommended this hotel especially for families with young children, the entertainment on offer to keep them occupied was excellent. The poolside activities such as Water Zumba were also great fun, and there was a daily program of evening entertainment too. There were two buffet areas included in the all – inclusive price plus three extra restaurants with a small charge attached. The food was diverse, catering for most tastes. In general I’d recommend Buffet 2 as there was an outdoor seated area to enjoy your food in the sun, rather than eat inside in the other larger buffet area within the hotel itself which felt like a food hall.

We discovered this wonderful cave cut through the cliff face linking two beaches near our hotel.

It was well worth it!

Here I am with my daughters about to explore what’s beyond the cave…

And here’s the reward – a beautiful beach on the other side.

Talk about tranquil golden sand, textured with footprints of assorted humans, occasional dogs who have escaped from their owners – rolling in furry abandon on the sand, not to mention the crazy seagulls. One minute those seagulls were tranquilly standing on one leg, stretching their wings, doing a tai chi move, the next they were dive bombing us!

Striking cliffs and that sea……so rich with hues of colour. An artist’s dream.

These wonderful cliffs are everywhere in Portugal and provide a great backdrop for family photos.

A holiday to Portugal wouldn’t be complete without a boat trip. The four of us went via Albufeira on a well organised day out. We had a wonderful experience stopping at a beautiful bay for a barbeque of fresh fish, pork, salad and wine.
No wonder my hubby and I are smiling!

Here is the lovely boat we sailed on..

Perhaps I might have convinced you to visit Portugal. It is one of my favourite holiday destinations – I have been to the Algarve three times, and loved it each time!

Bye for now,

Buy Book: myBook.to/TheCurseofTime

Social Media Links

Authors Website: https://atomic-temporary-67364188.wpcomstaging.com
Collaborative Blog: https://sistersofthefey.wordpress.com
Twitter: @Marjorie_Mallon and @curseof_time
#ABRSC: Authors Bloggers Rainbow Support Club on Facebook
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17064826.M_J_Mallon

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mjmallonauthor/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mjmallonauthor/

Writespiration #94: Condense Your Novel Into 3 Sentences

Writespiration: Condense Your Novel into Three Sentences

In Sacha’s words:

So, your challenge this week is to boil your plot down to its simplest form. This isn’t marketing 101, don’t try an sell me your book like a pitch sentence. This is purely about plot. Tell me your entire novels story in three sentences.

If you want to join in, you can pop your sentences in the comments on her blog or in a blog post and ping back so she can find it. You have until 12pm on the 28th August.

No pressure… three simple sentences. Somehow, that sounds a bit unrealistic, simple sentences, there is nothing simple about my plot, convoluted, yes, but simple, No! But, this challenge couldn’t have come at a better time, because right now this is the kind of activity I’m engaging in… writing blurbs, author bios, etc, trying to get everything ready for my novel release this coming autumn.

Here are my three sentences:

Da da dee da,

Da da dee da!

Only joking… though I did think the da da’s had a certain ring to them, not sure about those dee da’s! Cup of tea perhaps? Sacha did suggest that we boil our plot! Maybe not… Perhaps I should indulge in a bit of FB? Twitter? Instagram? But no selling… OK, I could be nosey, see what folks are up to… Or I could go for the simple approach.

Right, no mucking about, concentrate Marje, stop procrastinating! You can do this…

Ah, I know what to do, doodle, get a cute doodle pad and write a few words on it:

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That will do the trick… Don’t plan, just write…

By now, you really must be thinking this gal has gone a bit doolally twist… perhaps.

Enough! This procrastination is really becoming a curse.

Here is my contribution, my three simple sentences for my WIP: The Curse of Time.

Amelina Scott doesn’t know it yet, but she is a magical Krystallos. That knowledge might just save her family from the cruel roller coaster ride which has bugged her family’s happiness, since The Curse of Time. A shadow hides, crystals twinkle, and gossamer wings threaten to bring Amelina full circle on the ride of her life.

I thought I’d elaborate upon this to make an initial blurb idea which would go very roughly something like this:

Sixteen year old Amelina Scott lives in Cambridge with her prematurely aged father, cranky mother, a black cat called Shadow, and a self-harming mirror girl.

She doesn’t know it yet, but she is a magical Krystallos. That knowledge might just save her family from the cruel roller coaster ride which has bugged her family’s happiness, since The Curse of Time. A shadow of two halves hides – Ryder’s mesmerising eyes and dark charisma draw her to him – but appearances can be deceptive. While crystals twinkle, and gossamer wings threaten, Amelina’s spirit is brought against her will to a tranquil meadow in Grantchester. Whilst there she is encouraged by her captor to paint a bizarre puzzle of art, and all the while, a threat lingers groaning to turn youth into old age, and to turn neighbour against neighbour.

The verdict is out, hope that made sense, and didn’t bore you.

Bye for now,

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My fun (totally not serious but nevertheless 90% true,) author bio on Wattpad – Link below.

Marjorie Mallon was born in Lion City: Singapore. She grew up in a mountainous court in Hong Kong. Her crazy parents dragged her spotty soul away from her exotic childhood and her much loved dog Topsy to the frozen wastelands of Scotland. There she mastered Scottish country dancing, haggis bashing, bagpipe playing and a whole new Och Aye lingo.
As a teenager she travelled to many far flung destinations to visit her abacus wielding wayfarer dad. On one such occasion a barracuda swam by. It stopped to view her bikini clad body, longing to take a big bite. With dogs' fangs replacing barracudas' teeth, she returned to her mother's birthplace: Kuching, Cat City. There, Blackie, a black-hearted dog sniffed her frightened butt, whimpered and ran away! Shortly after this extraordinary event an angry female Orang-Utan chased her unfit ass out of the Malaysian jungle believing that she was a threat to her babies! She still monkeys about, would love to own a cat, or a replacement Topsy but refuses to entertain murderous dogs, or over-protective monkeys.
It's rumoured that she lives in the Venice of Cambridge, with her six foot hunk of a Rock God husband, and her two enchanted daughters.
After such an upbringing her author's mind has taken total leave of its senses. When she's not writing, she eats exotic delicacies while belly dancing, or surfs to the far reaches of the moon. To chill out she practises Tai Chi and Yoga on the crest of a wave. If the mood takes her she goes snorkelling with mermaids, or signs up for idyllic holidays with the Chinese Unicorn, whose magnificent voice sings like a thousand wind chimes.

She is a child of the light and the dark. Her motto is simply this: Do what you love, stay true to your heart's desires, remain young at heart, and inspire others to do so, even if it appears that the odds are stacked like black hearted shadows against you...

My Links:

My Kyrosmagica Review of Dead Flies And Sherry Trifle

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Goodreads Synopsis:

It’s summer 1976 and hotter than Hades
Harry Spittle, nineteen, is home from university, aiming to earn some money to go on holiday and maybe get laid. He expects he will be bored rigid, but the appearance of old family friend, Charlie Jepson, his psychopathic son, Claude, and predatory wife Monica changes that. As his parents’ marriage implodes, Harry’s problems mount; before he knows it he’s in debt up to his ears and dealing in drugs. Things go from bad to worse when he is stabbed. He needs money fast, but now his job is at risk, his sister is in trouble and he has discovered a family secret that could destroy all he holds dear. The only way out appears to require that Harry joins forces with the local criminal mastermind. Can Harry survive to see out the summer? Can he save his family? Can he regain some credibility and self-respect? Most importantly will he finally get laid?

My review:

Thank you to Geoff LePard for providing me a signed copy of Dead Flies And Sherry Trifle in exchange for an honest review.

I am reviewing this as part of Make August An Amazon Review Month

This is a laugh… and that pleases me enormously. I love to laugh. It’s a little-hearted, coming of age story which will undoubtedly relate to you – if you’re a teenager – or will take you space hopping back to your teenage years if you’re a bit older….Boing Boing. C’est Moi!

I didn’t work in a hotel as a teenager but I did have a spell where I worked in my local hairdressers. Let’s just say that I met some colourful characters, who took great pleasure in taking me out for a drink at the local pub after work, ha ha!! Vodka, was their tipple. So Harry Spittle’s work colleagues and his University enemy Stephen McNoble, ( who has serious anger issues,) really don’t seem so far from reality for me! Neither does the drug taking… but that’s another story. The cardboard girlfriend Amanda… well I never! Can’t say I’ve ever come across that kind of companionship before. But, yes, I was quite a wild teenager… the quiet ones are always the ones to watch out for. Don’t show my mum this review!

If you’re female and reading Dead Flies And Sherry Trifle you’ll find yourself crawling into the deepest recesses of a teenage boy’s brain – his name is Harry Spittle – and the experience will enlighten, amuse, and engulf you with what it means to ‘want to get laid.’ The main character is somewhat obsessed with a certain part of his body! Which probably accounts for about 99% of the male population below the age of 21… and a huge proportion of those above 21 too!! But, like all well rounded characters he does have some redeeming features too. He does love his Grandmother! And he isn’t too bad a brother to his poor sister when she gets into a spot of bother.

Be prepared for cheeky sexual references… hopeless fails, madcap behaviour, family life, a mystery, and a few rough diamonds!

I discovered my teenage daughter sneaking a peak at Dead Flies And Sherry Trifle – ahem… Now, I’m worried. She just accepted a part-time waitressing job at Cambridge university… EEK, who will she meet? This book brings on serious anxiety, it should carry a health warning! It’s a fast, easy, entertaining read with a diverse range of characters to keep you interested. Flies do play a tiny part. Buzz buzz. Trifle is my favourite pudding. The title is just about as nutty as the contents.

My only slight bugbear had to be with the revelation about Harry Spittle’s sister. This part of the story seemed to get engulfed by all the other shenanigans and her mother and father didn’t quite respond in the way in which I thought they would.

My recommendation – read if you like to take life and all its weird foibles a trifling unseriously.

Authors Website: https://geofflepard.com/

My rating

4 stars.

DISCLAIMER: “As of 13th September 2017 we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”

My opinions are my own and any reviews on this site have not been swayed or altered in any way by monetary compensation, or by the offer of a free book in exchange for a review.

Amazon UK kindle buying link: http://amzn.to/2h6btAf

Amazon UK Paperback buying link: http://amzn.to/2jtfDDg

Bye for now,

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Prom 2016: Churchill College

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It’s been a few weeks since the prom – 1st of July – time to let the dust settle and reflect on the event of the year! I know my daughter loved every single minute of her prom, and judging by the above photo it certainly looks like her friends were excited by the prospect too!

Better not leave the guys out!!

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There had been various discussions about how to get to prom with suggestions ranging from overpriced limos, to a Scooby Doo van, but in the end Georgina went in her boyfriend – Joseph English aunt’s car (photo courtesy of Joseph’s mum – Giovanno.)

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It must have been quite a moment, walking up the red carpet and that backwards glance from my daughter, Georgina tells quite a story. (photos courtesy of Giovanna.)

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I fell in love with the dress! We found it on an outing to Ely, at a Prom Dress, Ball gown, Cruise Wear and Cocktail Dress shop called you guessed it: Something Special.

It was hanging on the rack by the changing room. I suggested that Georgina tried it on, and that was it, all the other dresses paled into insignificance. It was the one. EEK the price was frightening…. but I figured perhaps in the future she might wear it again… Anyway to soften the blow she kindly offered to pay half with money she’d saved up from her Saturday job. I wrote about our day out in Ely and a whole bunch of other things on this blog post: Hugh’s Weekly Photo Challenge – Faces

Here’s a photo of the dress detailing its full length, and little train. (Photo courtesy of Giovanno.)

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Such a wide variety of beautiful dresses, and glamorous young ladies!

I’d like to give a shout out to Gina’s tutor at her secondary school – Stephen Creamer who took some wonderful professional photos of the prom. Whilst I can’t share his photos on this post without permission I’d like to mention his website : Steven Creamer Photography

We had a very special visitor at prom – my mother in law. It was wonderful that she was able to share in the occasion. She is now nearly ninety. She is such a remarkable woman – still able to travel all the way from Edinburgh to Cambridge on her own at her age. The next big family occasion will be her 90th birthday in September. Here she was smiling happily – the ‘wee woman with the big zest for life,’ so pleased to be here to share this occasion with her two granddaughters, Georgina and Natasha.

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After the prom was over I jokingly said to my daughter, ‘Now it’s time for old clothes and porridge!’

Not sure how impressed she was by that suggestion…

Porridge might not exactly be the best form of food at the moment.The poor wee lamb has had a touch of either belly ache or heat stroke or perhaps both. Oh… this turned out to be a nasty tummy bug that afflicted me too.. Better now.. So don’t forget to wash your salad, avoid swallowing dirty water while kayaking, take care in the sun, drink lots of water, rub in that sun cream folks. Oh, my! I’m beginning to sound like my mother!!

Bye for now. My bitmoji has had a wardrobe change – it’s just too hot for long sleeves!

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Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx

My fun (totally not serious but nevertheless 90% true,) author bio on Wattpad – Link below.

My Links:

#Weekend CoffeeShare: Sailing

Hi Campers… oh no wrong club, sailors…

A Very Warm Welcome to Weekend Coffee Share which is hosted by Diana at Part-time Monster. To join in this fun sharing idea do pop over to Diana’s blog: Part Time Monster Weekend Coffee Share

If we were having coffee –

I’d say that I’m recovering from a sailing adventure! And since I arrived back home I’ve been craving sugar and drinking frothy caramel lattes. Would you like to join me for one? I promise it will be calorific heaven, I might even serve it in a little coffee cup dinghy!

Last weekend we were away on a friend’s sailing boat. So I thought I’d invite you to come along with me to see some of the lovely places we went to. The photo featured at the top was taken at Yarmouth, Isle of Wight.

We began our yachting adventure in Southampton. With lots of goodies stowed aboard for our journey: food, wine, and an abundance of savoury and sweet treats we set off. It was quite a feat that Fat Bottomed Girl even got going! Who’s that you might ask? Stop being so cheeky. I know what you’re thinking… but… it’s the name of the well stocked sailing boat. Of course!

Our captain had everything covered, even providing yours truly and my daughter with sailing jackets, and of course obligatory life vests for everyone..

Here’s Captain Jon, our sailing aficionado.. (He’s been sailing since he was twelve…) with my hubby David on the right, sharing a Father’s Day bromance moment! Ahhh..

C’est Moi, smiling widely… in my red sailing gear, you can’t see my hands but I’m sure I must be praying for good weather!

We’re all trying to keep the optimism up, by wearing our shades… all except me, with my compulsory glasses wearing. I have to see where I’m going. We don’t want any man or woman overboard issues. I say this because my husband has fallen off a boat a few times.. twice in the Mediterranean, and once in the UK, so it’s now best to keep an eye on him, and generally good advice to keep him away from the vino. Oh no, no chance! Only kidding, he fell off last time while cleaning the boat on a boy’s trip (well that’s what he told me.) He hit his head and nearly drowned. Luckily one of his friends realised he’d vanished, and scooped him out of the water just in time. Quite a feat as he is over six feet tall.

So, on this trip we were hoping not to have to use this Man Overboard Rescue Sling. We did hear a few emergencies coming over the radio… but luckily the coastguard dealt with them pretty super pronto.

My friend Diane is striking a laid back kind of pose. You can tell she’s used to this sailing lark! She isn’t about to do any life saving just yet, especially if it involves pulling a six foot man out of the sea.

Oh, mustn’t forget the two youngest members of the crew, my daughter Gina, and her friend Sophie. Somehow wearing the sailing attire seems to make them look a lot younger than they are… Sweet. Oh Dear she’s going to kill me for that remark..

Generally it was pretty much plain sailing. But there were a few we better pay attention to where we’re going moments, when all these yachts kept chasing us. Steady on!

Gina had a chance to take the helm. Here’s a sweet photo of the two of them… one to keep… as it was Father’s Day. Ahh…

We stopped for a bite to eat at a lovely bay at National Trust Nature Reserve – Newtown. As you can see it was a bit overcast, but nevertheless you do get a sense of the tranquility and unspoiled nature of the place.

For our last evening we splashed out and had a tasty meal at a very lovely restaurant in Yarmouth, called The George, which had this amazing restaurant with beautiful sea-views. As you can see the sky was now a hazy blue colour after being a bit grey!We also stopped for an ice cream at The Gossips cafe at Yarmouth, but whatever you do, do remember to keep that to yourself, as we don’t want that kind of information getting around..

We had a wonderful weekend.. though I have to say I still feel as if I’m in sleepy mode. It must be that continual rocking motion. We had a long drive back home and stopped for fish and chips on the way back. Yum. All that sea air really makes you hungry!

Hope you had a great week. What have you been up to? Been sailing recently?

Hope you enjoyed my Weekend Coffee Share post.

Cheers. What can I get you to drink?

Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx

Pert bums, Make up, Fake Tan and Hair extensions

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Here’s my take on Colleen’s #WQWWC writing challenge. The theme this week is: Rebirth. Silver Threading WQW: Rebirth

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‘Once you reach a certain age you’re either slowly dying or slowly being reborn. I want to choose the latter.’ Marianne Williamson.

‘Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed spiritual author and lecturer’: Marianne Williamson’s website

Marianne Williamson’s quote sums up how I feel about it too. The older I get the more I want to go on an adventure! There is nothing that I want to do more than to write, to explore a new landscape of my dreams, to be reborn as a Bloggers Basher and have fun!! Just in case you have no idea what I’m talking about and think this is some new sort of cult, here’s the link to my post about the Bloggers Bash in London on the 11th of June: My Take on The Bloggers Bash

Now, a few people have mentioned that they are suffering from a touch of the Blogger’s Bash blues after the event, so this is for us BB bloggers, and anyone who is or has ever experienced a touch of the blues ….to try to cheer us up with a bit of a giggle…. ENJOY!

I love to eavesdrop. It’s a compulsory and addictive occupation if you’re a writer. Trains are great for this. On the way to the Blogger’s Bash on Saturday I just couldn’t help myself. The urge came over me to tune in. It was desperate. I tried to stop but it just wasn’t possible. The train was very crowded. There wasn’t a seat available for me to plant my derriere so I surrendered to my deep-seated curiosity. Two young men were standing next to me. Inevitably their conversation touched on the topic of girls, and then veered in an unexpected, and ahem… amusing direction.

NOTE: This is a bit of a departure from my usual children’s writing!! It’s good to try new ideas… I had so much fun writing this!

(The speech below is of course my embellished version of events …..!!!)

Pert Bums, Make up, Fake Tan, and Hair Extensions.

‘Jenny’s pretty.’

‘Yeah but she’s all make up, fake tan, and hair extensions.’

‘Got a fit body though.’

‘Can’t argue with that.. hope it’s real. Real or not, the thought of her makes me tingle…’

‘Calm down mate… sounds like you’ve got too much of that testosterone buzzing round your body… Have you … oh can’t say that …. I’ll get nicked for indecent behaviour …’

‘Ha Ha! That would be so like you… ‘

‘True, you got me!… Let’s leave the coppers for now..the very thought of them makes me sweat…. even though I’m innocent.. I swear. Let’s keep this on the straight and narrow. Been to the gym recently, released the T word?’

‘T word.. oh not a cuppa, you mean a tipple of Testosterone? No. No gym, no footie, nothing, none of the other, either!’

‘No wonder you’re bloody drooling mate.’

‘I’m panting!’

‘You better get on top of it, tame it, work it out, and, um… I hate to say this mate but something dear to you, is holding you back.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Your behind,derrière, bum, butt, buttocks! It’s em… how do I say this? It’s not quite what it used to be.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Your posterior used to be pretty pert!’

There’s a moment’s silence….

‘You got me there.. It did didn’t it? It was well toned, and admired,’ he laughed, ommiting a half laugh, turning round to observe his once firm bum.

‘A cracker of a bum… your cheeks made me giddy with jealousy!’

‘Ah…. that’s tragic. My bum’s lost its way .. You’re right I better get down to that gym super pronto, or my ass fan club will be a forgotten fiction!’

A wistful expression lingered on his face. His mate gave him a sympathetic look. With those parting words they left the train. Leaving behind a captivated audience that longed for more..

Sigh.. my entertainment ended. This was far better than any soap opera. Lots of seats became available and I sat down, planting my posterior down. I brushed my hair, and applied a bit of lipstick, no fake tan, or hair extensions, I’d like to add. Oh well.. I was still on my way to the Bloggers Bash, lots more excitement and fun to come!

What I find so amusing about this extraordinary experience is the openness with which these two young men spoke. Were they discussing this in public for attention? Were they just having a laugh? Let’s consider the reactions that they received. No one on the train laughed, or openly smiled. Talk about stiff upper lip. We were all holding it in, squeezing our toned bums even though no doubt a little smile was playing on our lips. Perhaps we had a little twinkle in our eyes. But no one said a word. Instead each and every one of us had a bit of a silent giggle. Well I did anyway..!

Have you ever heard an amusing or astonishing conversation while travelling?

If you have I’d love to hear all about it. Go on… admit it I bet you love to eavesdrop too!

Have a lovely day, keep smiling..

Just finishing with my new Bitmoji hope you like it!

Bye for now,

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Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx

My fun (totally not serious but nevertheless 90% true,) author bio on Wattpad – Link below.

My Links:

Bloggers Bash Friday Madness!!

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<a href=”http://www.freepik.com/free-photos-vectors/cartoon”>Cartoon vector designed by Freepik</a>

The Bloggers Bash is so near I can feel the adrenalin mounting with each second. The comments on Facebook are escalating minute by minute bringing us closer and closer to the big day! The general term I would use to refer to this phenomenon is excitement!! Pure and simple…

So to calm myself down today I am writing my own personal list. I thought I might as well share this with you –

My Totally Serious List of What To Bring To The Blogger’s Bash:

Depending on the British Weather: sun cream, sunhat, raincoat, umbrella, tarpaulin, or if all else fails enlist Zeus to help you, he’s the King of The Gods, he should be able to sort out the sky. If Zeus is busy, sigh…
Your travel tickets! Passport. Bus Pass. Helicopter Ride. Parachute. I’m going by train – off to pick up my tickets this afternoon so I’m ready… I swear those ticket machines at the little train station I travel from see me coming. They tend to be a bit uncooperative, or have a long queue if I’m in a hurry so I’m going to trick them into behaving by turning up early.
Clothes. Yes this is a necessity folks. At least some form of attire is required. Preferably whatever you feel comfortable in. Don’t turn up in a formal suit and tie, or a kilt, or a scratchy jumper unless you really want to!
Shoes. Still to decide on this too.. If you wear heels all the time and can walk in them without waddling then do feel free. I have enough trouble walking on little heels so I’m not going to turn up with stilettos! Oh damn I just got rid of those bright purple Doc Martins..
Snacks. Choccies.. This has been mentioned already numerous times but in my book treats of any kind are always welcome. Make sure we have enough sugar!
A Camera to record the event.. Don’t forget to clear your memory if it is full. This memory tip via Suzie Speaks..https://suzie81speaks.com/) Just make sure you don’t erase your own thoughts while you’re doing it – that could make conversation a little tricky.
Change… Monopoly money. Things to barter with. Oh I do hope I don’t forget this one… This afternoon I’m off for coffee with a few friends after work so hope I manage to get some change then. My daughter keeps on raiding my pennies for bus fares..
Hard Cash. IOU’s. Following on from no. 7. Bring some hard cash too, share it around it will be welcomed!
Handbag.. Clutch purse. Bum bag. This is open to whoever would like to bring one – so guys don’t feel left out! I’ve opted for a snazzy little black number. Yes I’ve decided about my handbag before my clothes and shoes, they’ve got some catching up to do!
Sword. Martial Arts moves. Bodyguard. You do meet some funny folks in London. It might be wise.
Makeup. Fancy nails… face paint.. Body armour whatever you feel like, just don’t frighten anyone away!
A Book. What? This one’s for book addicts, myself included, just in case you have a long journey, or a short journey, or no journey at all. Book addicts always carry books. Fact.
Mints, floss, toothpicks. Don’t forget to brush your teeth, just in case you do forget pack those extra strength mints. You know that piece of green vegetation that always gets stuck in your teeth needs to be removed fast!
A husky dog, a wild cat, or a squirrel. Ah that would have been nice – would have been a plus for the photos but sorry no pets allowed. But any mythical creatures are welcomed, especially dragons.
Glasses. No not pint glasses. Spectacles – this is a necessity for folks like me who can’t see a darn thing without them. Note to self: Don’t fall asleep the night before with your specs on and break them.
Business Cards. Thanks for this one Hugh… If you haven’t got any come tattooed on your forehead with your blog name..

17, 18 and 19 for when it is going off kilter….. 19, 20 we’re back on track!

17. Geoff’s fabulous travel directions. https://atomic-temporary-67364188.wpcomstaging.com/2016/06/08/are-we-there-yet-bloggersbash-directions/ Plus mobile phone numbers of others who are coming to the bash in case you get lost.

18. Tissues. This has been suggested before too – https://hughsviewsandnews.com/2016/06/08/10-essential-items-you-should-bring-with-you-to-the-annual-bloggers-bash/ for the tearful farewell. But I have a habit of getting teary sometimes due to hay fever so perhaps I should bring more..

19. Booze and remedies. After all that you might need some Bach’s Rescue Remedy or a stiff drink, a glass of wine, or a cocktail.

20. Bloggers Unite. Remember we are all bound to get on famously as we’re all bloggers! No one else understands our weird obsession. So new blogging buddies don’t worry we are a friendly bunch. Hugs will be plentiful just don’t creep up on anyone unawares..

21. Yippee we’re nearly there!

Can’t wait to see all you lovely bloggers on Saturday.

Bye for now,

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Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx

My fun (totally not serious but nevertheless 90% true,) author bio on Wattpad – Link below.

My Links:

Are we there yet? #BloggersBash – directions

Do not despair there is no way you will get lost, Geoff has it all covered with these detailed directions no one will/will not make it to the Bloggers Bash… not even people like me with every/no sense of direction can/cannot possibly find/miss it!

Ronovan Write’s Haiku Challenge: Rein and Quest

ronovan-writes-haiku-poertry-challenge-image-20161[1]

I have to say I was struggling with Ron’s prompt words this week: rein and quest… until I began cooking the dinner. I asked my daughters what they’d like to have with their chicken and they said skinny chips. So I thought no problem, just bought them today, they’ll be in the freezer. WRONG!! Could I find those skinny chips anywhere …. no I couldn’t, somehow I’d misplaced them, they were so skinny that they’d vanished, evaporated into thin air. Along with my evidence – my grocery receipt- had I bought them at all or had it just been a wicked figment of my imagination? Who knows. Anyway, to cut a long story short I had to find an alternative. Of course there were big fat chips, potato croquettes, and two healthier options: new and sweet potatoes in the fridge. In other words every combination of potato known to man was present and correct apart from the much desired skinny fries! I suppose I could have made some triple fried chips… what on earth, maybe not. So as a consolation, I chopped up the sweet potatoes and added some herbs and a touch of olive oil. Much more healthy! So our quest for skinny chips became a quest for healthy eating, with the added bonus of a salad too!! Luckily no one complained, everyone loves sweet potato chips.

So here’s my haiku with that in mind:

sweet-potato-recipe_23-2147536466

Photo courtesy of Freepik: Freepik.com

Sweet Tatty Fries!!

Rein it in darlings,

Quit that quest for skinny chips,

A ‘Triple fried’ please!

Mum’s lost the chip plot,

Rein in your greedy tummies,

Quest: sweet tatty fries!

Do pop over to Ronovan’s blog to join in the haiku fun:

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge-98- Rein and Quest

I’m currently reading – Amber Wake Gabriel Falling, oh I do love a pirate adventure… how exciting, more about that soon …. review to follow…. perhaps it might have been our pirate captain who stole my skinny fries… maybe Ronovan will have an angle on that? I hope I won’t have to make him walk the Kyrosmagica plank for his misdoings!
Amber Wake

Hope you enjoyed my haiku.. keep on smiling pirates!! It’s Friday tomorrow, doesn’t that sound good? Oh dear do take care watch you don’t succumb to too many glasses of vino…. or you might hear man overboard!

Bye for now,

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Marje @ Kyrosmagica xx

My fun (totally not serious but nevertheless 90% true,) author bio on Wattpad – Link below.

My Links:

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